The Rockford Files Season 1 quotes

Jim

O.K., what's the problem? It's a simple phone call, I'd do it myself, but he'd recognize my voice.

Angel

What's the real deal here? Who are the big fish about to be fried?

Jim

What are you babbling about?

Angel

I just got here. But you know ole Angel, I can always smell the grand green. You can start by telling little Margaritte she can drop the blind act. I ain't gonna snitch on her.

Jim

[Incredulously] What is the matter with you? She IS blind! She had an accident 10 years ago! Now you get...

Angel

[laughing] Jimmy, Jimmy. I know the moves. I know how it's done, son. I did two months as Blind Lemon Martin on Market St. up in 'Frisco. Dobro guitar and harmonica rack, sad-like and miserable, you know how bad I play. But I did 1500 bucks worth of quarters in a month. [whispers intently] The sympathy factor!

Jim

If we could see a pictorial representation of your mind it would look like a fire drill in a state asylum.

Angel

Yea, well anyway I know she's a classy lady, got a body by Pininfarina and all that. Now I know it ain't no low-grade scam like mine. So what is it? Is she fronting for some charity? She goes around to all the big corporations and you come along as the packager of the telethon? I love it. LOVVVVE IT! Let me in on it, Jimmy. I can be the research doctor, take a painless 2%.

Jim

You'll get in for what I give you. [He shoves him through door] Get in there!

Jim

Instead of death row you're gonna get a trip to the lollipop factory... . He's gonna let the police catch him and then do the old 'where am I' bit. Any court in the country will stamp him as a ranking banana and send him off on a Valium holiday.

This is Jim Rockford. At the tone leave your name and message, I'll get back to you.

[beeep] Jim, you give Peg the two hundred for the painting, she owes me seventy and I owe you forty-six for the Christmas trees. Harry still out sixty for the dinner, but at least it'll void that check.

Jim, listen. I know you didn't get the best deal out of this. Well, I tell you what, if money's your problem I think I may have a solution. First, I want to thank you for saving my life, and I've been wracking my brain trying to come up with a way to express my gratitude, and I finally did.

Jim

[smiles] You don't really have to do anything, I mean...

Oh, yes, I do. As you may know, I'm always on the lookout for a good man.

Jim

I've heard it said...

And now that I'm going to be devoting full attention to the fight business, the dealer management job's wide open; I'd bet you'd look terrific in a red blazer...

Jim

Not a chance.

Baby, come on! Think of it! You know, you could do the Spanish speaking commercial. You'd become a celebrity!

Jim

I'm sorry, but I don't tap dance.

At least have dinner with me, huh? We could go to my place...

Jim

I'm sorry, Ruth, but I'm a little old-fashioned, you know. I, uh, I like to open the doors and light the cigarettes and make the passes.

[she takes her hand away] A-a-a-h, you're right! I'm sorry! There I go, again! I'm sorry, really...

Jim

[smiles again] Ah, it's okay...

[puts her arm around his shoulders] We'll go to your place.

Jim

[looking up at the seven-foot-tall goon next to him] Klaatu barada nikto!

This is Jim Rockford. At the tone leave your name and message, I'll get back to you.

John Cooper

[beeep] Jim, Coop. I'm at that address you wrote down for that poker game tonight. This is a gas station, it's closed, there's no one around and now my car is stalled! You gotta call me at four-six-six... [click]

[examining Rockford's business card] Private detective - now there's a really creepy occupation.

Jim

Well, we can't all be fortunate enough to sell old French paratrooper pants to fashion-conscious Middle America.

Don't knock what sells, buddy.

Jim

Is there a chance that Berucci's in trouble with loan sharks?

Loan sharks? - don't be ridiculous.

Jim

Well, I know they're very active in the garment center - there are a lot of high-risk businesses. You know, they have very direct ways of protecting investments.

We're talking about haute couture, not some sleazy ready-to-wear manufacturer.

Jim

Well, there's an expression - no matter how you cut it, it's still the rag business.

Jim

[as Alta sets soup and crackers before him] What's that?

Dinner - I'll get mine.

Jim

Oh, well, that'll be a real energy boost - I'll just wolf this right down and go out and stop a freight train.

That, my dear sir, is a fashion model's feast. Go easy on the Wheat Thins.

Jim

That's gastronomically impossible.

Well, a real fashion model would have had saltless crackers - but what the hell - let's splurge.

This is Jim Rockford. At the tone leave your name and message, I'll get back to you.

Miss Holroyd, City Federal. Your lost check still hasn't arrived. It's impossible for us to lose checks, so unless we receive full payment by noon today we'll foreclose.

Jim

This is the federal government, huh? Now I know why my old man got a hundred and eleven Medicare cards sent to him. Not one of them had his name on it!

This is Jim Rockford. At the tone leave your name and message, I'll get back to you.

Angel

[beeep] Jimmy! Angel! Listen, Eddie Talavora just give me a hot tip on a class filly in the eighth out at Holly Park. Only problem is I need a twenty!

Jim

[referring to tips given by Angel] The last horse he gave me could've used a skateboard!

[while kicking suitcases] Normally I never lift anything heavier than a coke spoon.

This is Jim Rockford. At the tone leave your name and message, I'll get back to you.

[beeep] Mr. Rockford, Arthur's Hi-Fi. Your stereo's ready, but since your warranty expired in the two months it was in our shop, you'll have to pay the sixty dollars on the repair.