The Rockford Files Season 1 quotes

How are you feeling, Mr. Rockford?

Jim

Tell you the truth, I'm scared to death.

Good.

This is Jim Rockford. At the tone, leave your name and message, I'll get back to you.

[beeep] It's Morrie, I got a call from Davis at the IRS. You were right. They bounced your return. Call me.

Jim

Cataloging my virtues won't work either... I hold them to a minimum so they're easy to keep track of.

I bet your grandfather was a preacher.

Jim

In fact he was a horse thief.

You ride around much with the cops in LA?

Jim

Well, it depends on the circumstances...

Yeah, you're not riding with us neither.

This is Jim Rockford. At the tone, leave your name and message, I'll get back to you.

[beeep] It's Laurie at the trailer park. A space opened up. Do you want me to save it, or are the cops gonna let you stay where you are?

Do you have a gun?

Jim

No, no I don't, I... Matter of fact I'm scared to death of them.

Jim

[as he is trying to leave the hospital, but Stoner holds him at gunpoint] The doctor told me to go straight home, go to bed, and no excitement. And I'm just not going to let you qualify as excitement because I don't want to go back in there and get fed through a tube.

This is Jim Rockford. At the tone leave your name and message, I'll get back to you.

[beeep] You really want Shim in the seventh? C'mon, that nag couldn't go a mile on a pickup truck. Call me!

Jim

[to Agent Shore] That’s my career specialty – ducking process servers.

Jim

I don't know what's goin' on, but believe me I don't want any trouble.

You already got trouble. The only question is whether you're going to wake up tomorrow breathing air or dirt.

Pity we aren't the same age. I could take you out behind the wood shed and we could bash it around for a while.

Jim

Well, I don't go in for that kind of thing...

$10.45.

Jim

[hands over cash] Keep the change.

Ten buck tip. What do I gotta do for it?

Jim

There's a trailer parked by the beach. 2354 Pacific Coast Highway. I want ya to go inside and you'll find a very crotchety old man tied up. Untie him.

You're kiddin'.

Jim

He's my father.

There's a punchline, right?

Jim

Whatever you got on the meter, you get from him. You keep the $10 tip.

Add another five and you got a deal.

Jim Rockford

[Smiles and hands over another five bucks] You and my father ate gonna get along reeaal good.

This is Jim Rockford. At the tone leave your name and message, I'll get back to you.

It's Audra. Remember last summer at Pat's? I've got a twelve-hour layover before I go to Chicago. How about it?

[to Rockford upon his return from Europe] You had yourself a nice vacation, didn't you? You ought to write a book: "How To See Europe on $200 a Day Plus Expenses."