The Rockford Files quotes

If he turns up dead, and I can find anything to prove that you knew something that could have saved him, you're gonna wind up an accessory after the fact in his murder.

Jim

No, I'm not. I'm not even gonna be a material witness, unless the DA can establish me on preliminary, which he can't. There's no foundation. And he can't get me into cross-examination for the same reason. So... [winks at Highland] thanks for the invitation. I think I'll go fishing.

Dennis Becker

He's been around, Captain.

This is Jim Rockford. At the tone leave your name and message, I'll get back to you.

[beeep] This is Mrs. Lindus. Three times this month I came to clean and it always looks like people been fighting in there. Furniture broken, things tipped over. I'm sorry, but I quit!

[holds her gun pointed at Rockford] Look, I was afraid. You kept insisting I go to L.A. and I can't do that!

Jim

You mean it doesn't get easier the second time around?

What are you talking about?

Jim

Birrell didn't kill Ricky; you did.

That's not true!

Jim

Ballistics will run a check on that thing. We'll see if it's the murder weapon.

It was an accident... I didn't mean to murder him. I was trying to frighten him. He was seeing someone else. He was going to leave me. He used people.

Jim

Oh, and you wouldn't know anything about using people, would you. There's a doctor who's going to lose his license. Mitch is dead! When I told you that all you wanted to know was did he talk first. You wanted to know if you were in trouble. Lady, you put a high price on yourself.

But... But... Mitch wanted you to help me. He wanted you to help me - can't you do that for him?

Jim

Well sure, Jennifer, I'll help. You have your lawyer call me as a character witness.

[Jim's been invited to lunch with Mr. Bannister to dissuade Jim from continuing to try to get his wife, Linda, to testify on Charlie Harris' behalf] It's going to get pretty expensive for you, this... adventure.

Jim

I don't see how that could happen. I've cased the deck pretty well, and I know what "trump" is.

You do, huh? Well, try this out: If you continue this investigation, or try, in any way, to involve my wife, I will call some people that I know in Europe, and they will fly over here one night, and they will locate you. They will put a bullet in your head and will be gone within the hour. Now, and that's a '"rump" I presume you probably did not figure on.

Jim

[thinks for a minute] It also lacks finesse.

Well, I've found in my business dealings that the higher you make the risk - out of proportion to the gain - the more people are likely to sit out the hand.

This is Jim Rockford. At the tone leave your name and message, I'll get back to you.

[beeep] This is Shirley from the bank. The answers are no, no and yes. No, we won't loan you money, no, we won't accept any co-signers, and yes, your account's overdrawn. I get off at 4:30.

They keep the place real neat. I think graves ought to be a little untidy, the way lives are.

Dennis Becker

Jim, the police department operates without fear or favor.

Jim

Theoretically.

Dennis Becker

That's right, theoretically. As to fear, half the time we work in a cold sweat. As to favor, every stiff gets the same consideration, except a dead cop.

Jim

I'm trying to defrost my frost-free refrigerator.

Rocky

Oh, darn thing went out on you again huh?

Jim

American ingenuity... I don't know how they do it, but the minute the warranty runs out, whatever it is, it starts falling apart.

Rocky

Well I'll just give you a hand.

Jim

Not with your best suit on, I don't want to get stuck with the cleaning bill. No, I think I'm just gonna give up on this thing and buy me a new one.

Rocky

Oh, are you working Jimmy?

Jim

No, but I think I can swing the down payment on a refrigerator.

This is Jim Rockford. At the tone leave your name and message, I'll get back to you.

Freddie

Well, I got the car back... nice. I think I'm going to put it on display right out front with a big sign on it. "Wreck of the Week, Drive Carefully".

Jim

Well, that'll make it look like you care. People will love you for it.

Freddie

You said you were going to drive it carefully, Jimmy baby, remember? The guys driving the tow truck that brought it in had a bet going. Want to hear the bet?

Jim

Not necessarily, no.

Freddie

Well one guy bet it was a Ford. The other guy said no, it was a Chrysler. Imagine the surprise when I grin and tell them, "It's a Buick".

She's a very strange young lady.

Jim

When somebody has $300,000 in the bank, you don't call them strange.

What do you call 'em?

Jim

Eccentric.

Whaddya charge?

Jim

$200 a day plus expenses.

Any good?

Jim

That's a little like asking the head waiter how the steak is, isn't it?

Okay Rockford, I'm gonna give you the ground rules. One, I don't like getting fleeced. So, you try to run up the expense account, I'm just not gonna pay it. I want receipts for everything, you got it? Everything. I know you guys. You're all expense account hot dogs. I only mention this so you'll know that I'm wise to you going in.

You get the picture, mister?

Jim

Good. Cause I got a black belt in 7 iron.

You want this job? [pause] Well how 'bout it?

Jim

How 'bout what?

Are you gonna take it?

Jim

You gonna say "please"?

No!

Jim

Alright, I'll take it.

You don't understand, do you? You don't know how much trouble you're in.

Jim

I have been shot at, hit over the head, robbed of $10,000... Incredible as it may seem, all by myself I figured out I was in a little trouble!

This is Jim Rockford. At the tone leave your name and message, I'll get back to you.

[beeep] Rockford, this is Tony. Now your car's ready. I couldn't reach you, so I went ahead and put in the new pistons. The tab is $527.54, and this time we're talking cash!