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S2 E18

The PJs · Season 2, Episode 18

Walter and Thurgood in “Parole Officer and a Gentleman”

Walter

Thurgood, why do you insist on pushin' me into that place I really don't want to go? It's such a dark, cold place.

Thurgood

Me pushin' you?! You're the one that's been ridin' me all week!

Walter

That's because, unlike you, I pride myself on my job.

Thurgood

Ha! That's a laugh! You're the most corrupt probation officer in the city.

Walter

Corrupt? How can you say that?

Thurgood

Oh, come now, don't you play Mr. Clean around me. You have railroaded more people than Amtrak. Now, all of a sudden, when it comes to me, you want to find your conscience. Well, where was it, Walter? Stuffed in your trunk with a garbage bag wrapped around its head?

Walter

Okay, Thurgood. It's true. You know, when I was a cop, I saw that the justice system didn't always work. Sometimes it needed a little help from me. But when I voluntarily accepted forced retirement, I went over to the penal system, where things do work. So I ain't into clearing the losers off the streets no more. Now I make productive people, [poking Thurgood] one loser at a time.

Thurgood

Why, you big, fat, four-eyes, self-righteous bag of wind fat boy! I violated my parole. Yeah, I violated my parole, Walter! So what?! I violated! Big deal! I violated! What you gonna do, ground me?

[cut to Walter strapping a detector around Thurgood's leg]

Walter

Welcome to house arrest!

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