Doug Driscoll quotes from The Pitt

Doug Driscoll

Excuse me. Excuse me. I've been here for over five hours, okay, way longer than that chick. Can you check the list? Driscoll? Doug Driscoll.

Javadi

E-everybody is seen as quickly as possible and in order of medical care needed.

Doug Driscoll

Unless they die waiting.

McKay

Would you look at that, Mr. Driscoll? It's actually time to bring you back.

Doug Driscoll

Thank God.

McKay

Would you take care of Mr. Driscoll?

Javadi

Yeah, absolutely.

Doug Driscoll

I know you hear me. You can pretend you don't, but I know you do. This glass might be bulletproof, but it ain't soundproof. Huh? Hello? Can you hear me now? Huh? Hello!

Dana

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa, sir. Sir, what is the issue?

Doug Driscoll

Oh, same issue. I've been here all day, and you people have done nothing to fucking help me.

Javadi

We're still waiting on your second troponin. We can't clear you medically until it comes back. For instance, if it comes back elevated, that could indicate a silent heart attack. And you'd need to be admitted for monitoring in a cardiology consult.

Doug Driscoll

That's all I'm asking for. I'm afraid I've had a silent heart attack. I just want someone who knows something about hearts to tell me what's happening to me. You know, unlike most of these losers, I have insurance, good insurance. And I pay my taxes, which pays for them to not have any insurance.

Dana

Sir, you've got about five seconds to change your whole attitude before security and the police get involved.

Doug Driscoll

Fuck it. I'm leaving.

Langdon

Hey. Hey! You are absolutely free to go. But if you do, you will be leaving AMA, against medical advice. This form states that I have advised you to stay and complete your evaluation, but you are choosing to leave, understanding and accepting all risks of heart attack, stroke, disability, and death.

Doug Driscoll

Sounds like a CYA form in case I drop dead on the curb.

Langdon

That's exactly what it is.

Doug Driscoll

I just want to be treated fairly.

Langdon

I assure you that is our intention. We are not back here playing Go Fish.

Dana

We're doing our best to help some very sick people. You will be seen, OK?

Langdon

Robby's gonna love that patient satisfaction score.

Crazy people.

Dana

Excuse me, sir. You're not allowed back there.

Doug Driscoll

Unless, what, I start a fight? Become homeless? Apparently, that's what it takes.

Dana

I understand your frustration. I promise you'll be seen as soon as a provider is available.

Doug Driscoll

But how can they become available if new people keep cutting the fucking line?

Dana

There's no line. We see patients by severity of need. As soon as we have your tests and labs, you will be seen.

Doug Driscoll

This place is fucking unbelievable. Runaround after runaround. Hey. What's up, Erik Estrada? Still keeping your eye on me?

Always, my friend. Always. [to Dana] Who's Erik Estrada?

Dana

Shame on you. CHiPs. Know your television history.