Luz[in her video diary] Dear Diary, all I ever wanted was to be good at something, to be around people who also liked that something. And when I found the Demon Realm, I-I thought, "Wow, I found it. I can learn magic. I can be a witch. I-I won't be the dummy in the principal's office anymore!" But I messed up too much and put everyone in danger. Mama says I have to learn from my mistakes. So, I know what I have to do now - on Halloween, after the Hayride, I'm telling everyone I'm staying in the Human Realm. Permanently.
[Watching on Luz's laptop, Camila looks shocked and saddened, then determined.]
Luz
Oh! Hello, little fairy. Are you going to tell me this is all a fantastical dream?
FFairy
[showing huge pointed teeth] GIVE ME YOUR SKIN!
[Luz yelps and swats her away]
Luz
Flying staffs, crazy monsters, you're a witch! What is this place?!
This is the Boiling Isles. Every myth you humans have is caused by a little of our world leaking into yours.
Luz
[as a griffin resembling the model she made at school flies near] A griffin! [it barfs spiders] I knew it!
Yep. Griffins, vampires, giraffes...
Luz
Giraffes?
Oh yeah. We banished those guys. Bunch of freaks.
Welcome to...The Owl House. Where I hide away from the pressures of modern life. Also the cops, and also ex-boyfriends.
Luz
This place is beautiful. Do you live here all alone?
[loud, heavy footsteps shake the house]
Actually, I have a roommate.
[in a deep voice] Who dares intrude upon I, [voice lightens] the king of demons?!
[he turns out to be a small creature in a bathrobe, holding a rubber duck; Luz gasps, then tackles and starts cuddling him]
Luz
¡AY QUE LINDO! Eda, he's so cute! Who's a widdle guy? Who's a widdle guy? Is it you? Is it you? [hugs him]
[struggles to escape, horrified] NO! I DON'T KNOW WHO YOUR "LITTLE GUY" IS! EDA, WHO IS THIS MONSTER?!
[pulls Luz away from King] Oh, this is Luz, the human. She's here to help us with our little...situation.
Luz
I'm just confused.
Thinking of calling it quits, huh?
Luz
This place is nothing like I imagined.
Hmm... maybe not here. But come with me. I got something to show you.
[Eda flies Luz and King up into the sky, the former wearing a blindfold]
Luz
[takes the blindfold off] Whoa!
[The Boiling Isles is revealed to be the corpse of a Titan]
The bones of the Isles. Up close, the Isles can be slimy...
And gross. But if you look at it from a different perspective...
[A shooting star crosses the evening sky above the Titan's skull]
Luz
It's beautiful.
Luz
Eda, how did you know that wizard was lying?
Look, kid, everyone wants to believe they're "chosen". But if we all waited around for a prophecy to make us special, [chuckling slightly] we'd die waiting. And that's why you need to choose yourself.
Luz
Does that mean you'll give me a magic staff of my own?
[Willow's outburst with her plant magic accidentally ties Luz up]
[realizing] Oh no no no no no, I'm so sorry! [removes the vines from Luz's leg]
Luz
It's okay, the thorns only went through a few layers of skin.
[gets close to her face and notices her ears] So... circley.
Luz
Eep! [tries to cover her ears]
[gasps] You're human! This is astounding! A human on the Boiling Isles! [pulls Luz to her feet] How did you get here? What are you doing here? [a bell chimes and Willow slumps] I-I'm sorry, I can't stay. I have to go disappoint my teacher. It was nice to meet you, human.
Luz
Wait! I'm Luz, and you're Willow, right? What you did with that flower and those plants, it was WOWWW.
Thanks, but, I'm not even supposed to be doing plant magic. My parents put me in the abomination track at school.
Luz
[rushes forward and grabs her shoulders, squealing excitedly] Like, magic school? [Willow nods] That's so cool! I'm so jealous! I have a teacher, but her lessons are a bit... untraditional. I bet she wouldn't even let me enroll. But I wish I could spend one day there.
I wish I could get a passing grade for once. Then people would stop calling me "half a witch Willow." [kicks at her failed abomination, which makes a groaning noise]
Luz
Hey, wait. I know how we can both get what we want. [scoops up some of the goo and splatters it on her shirt] Make me your abomination! I'll get you a good grade, and you can get me into magic school! It's fiendishly clever! [quirks an eyebrow]
Luz
I saw that girl's thing, it's just chunks of stuff that talks weird. I'M chunks of stuff, and I talk weird!
That's true... [giggles] Okay! It's a deal, Luz. [they shake hands]
Luz
This is a great plan.[their hands get stuck together with the goo]
[they struggle to get apart, and Luz falls over into the goo]
Luz
[offscreen] Great plan.
Luz
[after the Owl Beast runs away] Oh man, did you see her eyes? They were all like "ahhh!' [sticks her tongue out] What happened to her?
Don't you see? The elixir I gave you doesn't give Eda powers! It prevents her from turning into THAT thing! She's turned into a nightmare and it's all my fault! I'm so sorry, Luz. I just wanted you to be into demons like you're into magic. I don't have many friends and no one even pays that much attention to me. I thought maybe if I taught you finally someone would care about creatures like me.
Luz
[holds up her pen] Well, lets finish the lesson.
Luz
Eda's turned into some kind of demon, and we need to save her. So who knows more about demons than the best teacher in the world?
[happily points to himself while Luz nods, smiling. He leaps into her arms, giggling happily. Then, he sets down some leaves and begins to draw on them] Lets see, she was bigger, covered in feathers, and had giant black eyes. Demons with black eyes are usually sensitive to light. [sees Luz's phone in her pocket] That's it, light! Luz, use your human wonder rectangle!
Luz
I can't, my camera's all blasted.
Then... what about that light spell?
Luz
[sighs] You saw me, I can't draw circles in the air. I'm not like Eda. [plays Eda's video]
[on video] Spell circle is really key because- [the phone glitches]
Luz
[gasps] There's a pattern in the spell circle!
Luz
[takes a leaf to trace the spell circle] It looks like this. [she draws the pattern and taps it with her pen, making it glow] There. [Luz gasps, amazed, as the leaf turns into a glowing ball of light. She cups it in her hands] It's beautiful. Oh my gosh, I just did magic. [jumps up] I just did magic! I just did magic!
Shhh! We're not gonna stop anything with something that small!
[Owl Beast roars]
[Luz spots Amity, who's against the wall, hugging her knees to her chest]
Luz
Amity, I'm sorry.
Ugh, seriously? Just leave me alone.
Luz
I didn't mean to embarrass you.
That's all you ever do! First at school, and now this!
Luz
Yeah, but-
[stands] You made me look like a FOOL in front of the Emperor's Coven! My future! You think it's so easy to be a witch! I have been working my whole LIFE to get to the top! You LOST! You CHEATED! Say it, say you're not a witch!
Luz
[looking down sadly] I'm not a witch. [sits down and creates a light glyph from a piece of paper. She holds the ball of light] But I'm training hard to be one.
[looks amazed for a second, but then turns away] That's nothing. A child could do a light spell. [Luz sadly puts the spell away] But, I've never seen it cast like that.
Luz
It doesn't come naturally to me like it does for you, so I've had to improvise.
[sighs and casts a spell circle, grasping Luz's wrist] The oath is unbound. [stands to leave]
Luz
Did it work? Can I still learn magic?
Humans have no magical ability, but I doubt that'll stop you. [walks away]
[Otabin has sewn Luz into a giant book with Amity after a failed rescue by the former]
[sarcastic] Amazing work, Kai lan .
Luz
Hey! I was trying to save you!
Well, it doesn't matter. We're gonna be stuck together forever. [hangs her head, resigned]
Luz
[tugs on the page she is sewn to] No, we aren't. Follow my lead. [starts swinging herself forward] One...! Two...!
Luz
THREE!
[the book falls over forward and hits Otabin, who then notices the girls have fled]
OOtabin
Come back! [gives chase]
[Luz and Amity eventually pause to catch their breath]
Luz
I don't know! I didn't even think that would work! I was all, like, "RAAAGH!"
[Amity giggles, causing Luz to smile warmly]
Luz
Gus, I'd love to go to school with you, but I don't know how I can. Principal Bump banned me from Hexside.
But nothing. Bump did you a favor. There ain't nothing for you at that dweebus factory. [to Gus] No offense, dweebus.
It's okay. I come from a long line of dweebuses.
Luz
[slams down the box she was holding] Well, I would love to go some day. Better than unpacking boxes in the Eda Coven.
[standing] Oh, you think you're clever, huh?
Ooooh! Fight, fight, fight!
Can it, King! First off, it's the "Bad Girl Coven". And second off, I guess you don't want in on the T-shirt order, huh? [pulls out a piece of paper with a "Bad Girl Coven" shirt drawn on it; rock music plays]
Luz
I don't care about T-shirts, Eda! I want to learn magic, and they teach that at Hexside!
I mean... yeah, well... [grunts, starts walking out] I don't wanna hear another word about Hexside! Unless it's "Hexside is on fire" and "let's grab front row seats"! [slams the door behind her]
[looking sad] Aw, look what you did. [gleefully] I'm gonna go rub it in! Nyeh! [follows Eda, laughing]
[Luz sighs and collapses on the couch.]
Luz? A-About the ban... I, uh... used my H.A.S. presidential authority to pull some strings! You've been given a full pardon!
Luz
You mean...?
Luz
[excited, grabs and shakes Gus] Oh my gosh! Yes, yes, yes! Of course I'll be there tomorrow! Gus, this will be great! [jumping on the couch] I get to see the school, and save the president!
Great! I'll see you tomorrow! [leaves the Owl House] Yes! You did it, Gus! [dances to some music] You did it, Gus! You're the smartest, you're the best!
Sweet moves, little dude.
[yelps in shock] I always forget you're there!
I forget I'm here too... Boop!
[Gus stares at him, looking disturbed.]
[Luz attempts to write a novel called "Luzura's Awakening"]
"Luzura's tears fell on the frozen prince, bringing him back to life"? Eh, this feels a little unrealistic.
Luz
I see what you're saying. But in your version, Ruler just destroys everything. [smiling] I think a little romantic tension could help the scene.
Hey, there's more to life than shipping.
Luz
Don't you dare insult shipping in my presence!
Luz, this isn't a good idea.
Yeah, I've never even played Grudgby before! How am I supposed to beat Boscha?
Luz
But you're the better witch. [gets out a DVD of "The Field of Deadly Fates", a sports movie featuring Azura] I don't know much about sports, but I do know about sports movies! We, too, are a ragtag team of lovable misfits joined together to defeat a powerful enemy. With a little team spirit and a training montage, we can win!
Well, if you think this'll work, then I'm in. How about you, Gus?
[producing a pair of flags] In seasons past, these flags have waved in support of Grudgby greats. Now they will wave for the greatest: ME!
Luz
What about you, Amity?
[suddenly looking extremely nervous] Me? On a team with you? ... Running around in cute uniforms?!... SWEATING?! [blushes intensely] I GOTTA GO! [runs off]
Luz
Huh. Well, I guess she's out.
Luz
[plays motivational sports music on her phone and dons a running headband] All right! Every great sports story includes a training montage.
[raising his hand] What's a "montage"?
Luz
Well...
[We see scenes of Luz explaining what a montage is to Willow and Gus using a chalkboard, then showing them a football movie on a TV, then all three of them having a tea party in animal onesies. Cut back to the field.]
Oh, I get it now! ... Wait, were we just having a tea party in animal jammies?
Luz
What happens in the montage stays in the montage! Now let's hit the field!
Luz
Wha-What happened?
She caught the Rusty Smidge.
Luz
The what?!
BBoscha
Yeah, while you were celebrating your "victory", I caught this guy. It means we automatically win. All magic sports are like this.
Luz
[completely furious] That just invalidates all our efforts! If catching that thing is so important, why do anything else?! There's no reason to watch any of the other players! THAT'S SUCH A STUPID RULE!
[Belos has just captured King and Lilith, leaving Luz alone to face him]
Luz
Let my friends go or else! [attacks with ice spikes, which stop just short of his face]
[unfazed] Okay... [teleports behind her] I'll play. [retaliates and quickly overpowers Luz despite her resistance] What's wrong, human? I thought you wanted to fight. [pins her down] Had enough?
Luz
Not even close.
[she catches him off-guard with an ice spell that chips off part of his mask]
[chuckles, impressed] I like your spirit. But try that again and things won't end well for you. [releases her] Now, I'm just a humble messenger for the Titan. In the grand scheme of things, the Owl Lady's life is inconsequential. But then you showed up. If you want to save your mentor, give me the portal to the Human Realm.
Luz
But...my home...
[outside, the petrification begins; Eda shields King and Lilith and screams in pain, which Luz hears]
[smirks] You probably think we want to invade the Human Realm, but the Titan's will is not so boorish. You'll understand soon. Tick-tock, human. The Owl Lady doesn't have much time left.
The Owl House · 63 quotes
