Michael and David in “Secret Santa”

David, guess who I am sitting here dressed as.

I'm not going to guess. You can tell me, or I will hang up.

I will give you a hint. His last name is Christ. He has the power of flight. He can heal leopards.

Michael...

I am Jesus, David, and you know why? Because Phyllis--a woman--has uslurped my role as Santa.