Michael and Pam in “Double Date”

I am going to give you a raise.

Why?

Because of all the good work you've done.

I have the lowest sales record of anyone here.

That's... no, no, it's not about numbers, Pam. It's about attitude.

I have the worst attitude of any person here.

Do you want the raise or what?

Yeah, I'll take it. [turns to leave]

Hey, Pam, Pam, with this raise there are strings attached. And the string is attached from my heart to your mean attitude.

You're bribing me?

No! No... no, I am not. Unless you want me to. Do you want me to? 'Cause I will. I will bribe you. No. Your face is saying don't... unless I haven't offered you enough. Your face isn't changing. What is it? Talk to me, face. Tell me what Pam's brain is thinking. Come on! What do you want? What do you want? Do you want a million dollars? Do you want to hit me? Want me to get down on one knee and beg you or--

I want to hit you.

What?

I want to hit you. I'll do that.