Helen Smith quotes from The Man in the High Castle

Helen Smith

It's cute, isn't it? You're lucky to get one of the singles. Most of the other girls have to share an apartment.

Other girls?

This is a dormitory for single women. Would you like tea? I made some.

Yes. Thanks. That's very kind.

Okay.

How many other girls live here?

Uh, there's space for 20 or 30, but I'm not sure how many are here now. Oh. We've thrown some things into the closet for you. There wasn't much time, so I hope they fit. And you'll find some make-up in the bathroom.

Wow. This is so much more than I could have hoped for.

Well, it's hard work to... Once you get settled, you'll be expected to join some of the neighborhood committees and the Nazi Women's League. But first you have to pass the ACT.

What is the ACT?

The Auxiliary Citizenship Test. That gives you the right to stay in the Reich permanently. You must be exhausted after everything you've been through.

I am a little.

Why don't you come by the house tomorrow? Say, 10:00. We can have coffee and get to know each other.

All right.

Okay. We're at 5026 Roxboro. I have left a tuna casserole in the fridge for you. But there's a grocer over on von Braun Street if you need anything else. You'll find 50 marks and some change in the desk drawer there.

You thought of everything. I don't know what to say.

Well, that's just it. You don't have to say anything.... See, now you're some place where good people actually look out for one another. I'll see you tomorrow.

Okay.

Okay.

Thanks. [as Helen goes for the door] Wait. What about the key?

Oh, there isn't one. No one locks their doors around here.

Helen Smith

You know I spent the whole afternoon with Alice.

John Smith

Yeah, you said. She must be... devastated.

Helen

She is. She's devastated. John, I'm going to ask you a question, and I need for you to tell me the truth.

John

Helen. Don't.

Helen

[realizes from the tone] John, what have you done?

John

Don't ask me any more.

Helen

But wh-why?

John

Look at me. All you need to know is everything I do... everything... I do it for the family, to keep our children safe.

Helen

For the family? Our son is ill. I knew that there was something.

John

Gerry was going to report him.

Helen

But that is no reason for you to...

John

There's no cure. There's no cure.

Helen Smith

He's not going, John. I will not allow it. I stop breathing the moment Thomas walks out that front door, and I only start again when he is back home.

John Smith

You want to let him go to South America? Helen...

Helen

He will be found out, and you know what that means.

John

Okay. Sit down. Helen, sit down, please. We are going to let him go. Thomas will fly to Buenos Aires, all right? And from there, he's going to travel to meet the others on his expedition, but he's not going to make the rendezvous because, somewhere in the foothills of the Andes, he's going to be kidnapped by Semites.

Helen

You did this.

John

Now, this is going to look like, to the rest of the world, a terrorist act on a high-profile target, but Thomas, he's going to be okay. He'll be safe.

Helen

In South America?

John

He could live for decades, Helen. This way, he's going to be comfortable. He's going to be safe. No one's going to be able to reach him.

Helen

How can you be sure?

John

Because I will personally spearhead the search for him and for his kidnappers. Now, you, of course, will be bereft, as will I, and publicly we'll never give up trying to bring our son home. But ultimately, Helen...we will fail. Now, if you have any questions, you have to ask me now... because, I'm afraid, once you've left this room, we must never talk about this again.

Helen

Will I ever see him again?

John

Maybe, one day. When and if it is safe. It's the only way, Helen.

Helen Smith

Thank you for your help today.

Juliana Crain

I was... glad to be a part of it. It's quite something, seeing everyone pull together like that.

Well, like I told you, this is a place where people look out for each other. [serious tone] Julia, I don't want there to be any confusion between us. What happened at the church today with Thomas, I don't know what you think you saw, but you're new here and I wanted to make sure you understand how important it is not to jump to any conclusions... because it could be dangerous.

Crain

Helen, what I saw today was a sweet boy... who's been overexerting himself, becoming emotional at the funeral of a close family friend. No confusion.

Let's drink to that.

Helen Smith

[upon being given a consent form to Thomas' euthanisation] What is this?

Thomas Smith

[to detail head] May I have a moment, please? [comes back to Helen]

Helen

Thomas?

Thomas

Look, I won't tell them about what you and father said. [embraces her one more time] Be proud of me. Tell Father to be proud. [leaves]

Helen

[as Thomas rejoins the health crews and she's held back by the security guards] No. Thom... Thomas. Thomas, stay with me! Stay with me, Thomas! Thomas! [shouting, sobbing] Thomas! Thomas, don't go!

Why don't we start with something easy? You know, a memory. Could be anything.

Helen Smith

Anything?

Well, anything to do with Thomas. Why don't you sit back, shut your eyes if that helps, and, uh, go back to a moment.

Needn't be anything big.

Could be something nice and simple.

Uh, they they heard me scream and wail when Thomas was walking to that van. I wept, I pleaded, and all of my neighbors housewives and my friends they heard me beg him to stop. Stop and go back in the house. Don't do this. I'm so so ashamed.

But any mother would've wept and pleaded. Don't you think?

My son was a hero, I was a weakling.

No. No, no. It takes strength to grieve openly.

Does it?

It's the weak who conceal their feelings behind a tough façade. Now, just by me saying this, you won't magically let go of your shame. But, if it makes it any easier, there is nothing more important to the Aryan state than a powerful mother who brings the full force of her emotions and convictions to daily life in the Reich.

Trust me, Helen,

Helen Smith

Trust you, John? The last time -

John

We're not relying on Hoover's help.

Helen

I trusted you.

John

No?

Helen

Because he came bursting in here with two of his men. Who's to stop him from coming back and arresting me?

Helen Smith

The, the girls and I we're safe.

John Smith

That's, that's good. Listen, you shouldn't have run away from that nurse.

Helen

I wasn't running from a nurse.

John

I'm not - I'm not angry with you. I'm just - You just you scared me, that's all. Can you just come home? Please? Can you just bring the girls and come home?

Helen

I love you, John... but I was running away from you. [hangs up]

Reichsmarschall John Smith

Gentlemen. I'm sorry to say there's been a misunderstanding here. Um, my son Thomas, he's, uh, reconsidered his decision.

Don't worry, Mr. Smith. We'll take good care of your boy.

John

No, you won't.

Excuse me?

John

You think I don't know how this ends?

I understand, Mr. Smith. It's only natural to be concerned about your son.

John

Yes, it is.

I'm sorry, sir. He's 18. He signed the papers.

John

[as Thomas and Helen step out the door behind him] I won't let you take him.

Thomas Smith

Dad, it's done. I'm going.

John

I won't let you.

Helen Smith

[embraces Thomas] My boy. I love you.

Thomas

Bye.

John

Thomas. Is there anything that I could've said yesterday that would have made you change your mind?

Thomas

It doesn't matter now. [puts hand on John's shoulder] Be proud of me.

John

But I've always been proud of you, Thomas.

Thomas

Goodbye. [walks off with the Marines]

Now, you have been married to Reichsmarschall John Smith for -

Helen Smith

Twenty years. And how the time has flown.

So, what is your secret to a happy marriage? How do you manage to keep the fire burning?

I can answer that in one word. A word that we can use on Reich TV?

I think we can use it.

Yes. Honesty. That, to me, is the foundation of a successful marriage.

Helen, think back to your first Reichsgiving, the first moment you first gave thanks for National Socialism.

Um, hmm... Oh, um, it would be February, '46, just after The Liberation. John was still in the [clears throat] John was in the US Army. Um, we had been posted to Fort Monmouth, and we had just had our son. Thomas was, um, he was just a baby.

It's all right. Take a moment.

No, no, I - I'd like to talk about it. We hadn't eaten in days. I thought that my baby was going to starve in my arms. A man, a Reich colonel, he came to our door. He brought us milk, bread, cheese, meat. It was all airlifted in by the Reich in an act of mercy. And my baby he finally stopped crying.

From that day forward, thanks to that spirit of mercy, there has never again been hunger in the Reich. [audience applauds] And who else was there that night?

Um, it It was Uh, well well, it was just just us, our family.

As it should be?

John, myself and Thomas, and... We put the past behind us.

Thanks, Helen. We would love to have you back on the show again, any time.

Yes, yes. I- I would like that.

Amy, go to your room.

You're not my mother, you can't tell me to go to my room.

You don't want to hear this.

Helen Smith

[ushers Amy] Sweetheart. It's, it's time for bed. Come on, I'll tuck you in in a minute.

It was you. You and Daddy. You killed them.

Helen

Killed who?

The Negroes, the Jews, all those people. What happened to them?

Helen

Oh.

I need to hear it from you.

Helen

Okay, uh, they, they they sent them to camps.

And what did they do in the camps?

Helen

They forced them to work.

Then what? Where are they now?

Helen

They're gone. They killed them.

And you and Daddy were a part of it.

Helen

Yes. Yes, we were. It It was a different time. We felt like our world... It had just ended, it was a decision that we made for one day that led to 20 years.

You could have escaped to the Neutral Zone.

Helen

Yeah, we could have, yes. But we didn't.

So you joined the Party instead. Daddy was in the SS.

Helen

I did it because I well, I believed in it. Not at first, but later I-I - I believed in all of it.

The camps where they killed - the Jews and the Negroes?

Helen

All of it. All of it. They told us it was necessary. I didn't ask any questions. I didn't even think about those people until... oh... [gets emotional] Until we became those people.

You got all this.

Helen

We didn't do it for this. We did it to keep you alive.

You didn't keep Thomas alive, did you?

Helen

Oh, God, Jennifer, don't you think that I know that?

They took him away.

Helen

I am begging you, please, please, please.

They poisoned him!

Helen

Don't, don't do this.

He was my brother! I loved him too! Ye- I know how you must see us, but everything we have was bought with other people's lives.

Helen

You were our children. Our babies.

How many were there? In America? In Europe, in Africa, how many?

Helen

I-I don't - I don't know.

And they're gonna do it all over again, aren't they? And Daddy's gonna be in charge, isn't he?

Helen

I don't know.

I don't ever want to be like you.

Helen

You shouldn't have to be. [Jennifer storms out]

Helen Smith

This, this portal you're talking about I-I mean, what?

John Smith

You've seen it yourself, Helen. You've seen the movies. Well, I've been there. He's alive.

Helen

I have had that fantasy so many times, but it's just that, John, it's a fantasy.

John

No.

Helen

He's not -

John

[sits down and clasps her hands] I've seen him. Helen, I've seen our beautiful boy. He's real. He's real as you and me. I want you to - I want you to have the same thing I had, Helen, I want you to see him yourself.

Helen

[emotional] Well, of course I want that, but -

John

He's not sick, he's healthy, he's strong. He's doing so well. He's - There is a war, and he has enlisted. He is so much like our Thomas.

Helen

Uh, but he's-he's not. He's not our Thomas.

John

I can see what's gonna happen. Helen, he's gonna die all over again unless we do something. We can save him.

Helen

How?

John

We can bring him home.

Helen

[surprised at the idea] You want to bring this boy here? As what, as a-a prisoner?

John

Now, I've struggled with that. I know it's not gonna be easy, but, uh, I don't think we have any choice. I can't lose him again. He's gonna hate us, but he's gonna be alive, and I can live with that.

Helen

Well, I can't, I can't. I can't live with that.

John

When you see him again, you're gonna change your mind.

Helen

No. [stands up]

John

Helen -

Helen

No, No! Thomas is dead. Amy isn't ours anymore. Her mind belongs to the state, and Jennifer, well, Jennifer has rejected us. We had three chances and we wasted them all.

John

That-that's where you're wrong, Helen.

Helen

If there is a better version of me out there somewhere, I want her to have my son, because you and I, we don't deserve to have a child.

John

You're saying you have a chance to see your son again and you're not gonna take it?

Helen

I wouldn't want him to see what we have become.