[picks up the phone as it rings while having her cup of coffee] Officer Shirley, what is your emergency?
[frantically] I just saw a toddler--okay, no, wait, my toddler and I just saw a burglar running out of Jean Juan's. [while Officer Shirley starts writing notes] He was a small man or a medium-sized teen. We couldn't see the face. It's dark out, and I'm tired, so my vision is a little blurry.
Ma'am, could you slow down?
But he was definitely stealing food, the fromage con queso, or maybe the churro baguettes. Oh. Oh, that sounds so good right now. [dozes off, but her head hits the steering wheel and accidentally honks it, snapping her awake] Ah! [accidentally drops her phone] Oh, hang on. I dropped my phone. Oh, here it is! Are you still there?
What are you and your kid doing out at 4:00 AM?
Okay, well, my husband gave her an espresso bean, and now she's wide awake. [to Lily as she tries to break free of the seat belt while gnawing on it at the moment] Sweetie, do you have to pee?
[Lily shakes her head no]
[thinking that Rita means her] No, I just went. Listen, hon, you're not the first tired mom to call in a little confused. Last night, we had a lady mistaking a possum for a werewolf. [chuckles] Why don't you go home and get some rest? [hangs up]
Ugh! Can you believe her? [tired] I am not just some tired... confused mom...
Rude!
You know what, Lily? I say we do some investigating of our own. We track down the thief, we get some evidence, and then we call that officer back and say, "Who's confused now?"
Yeah, yeah! This is exciting! We show her!
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