Will, Simon and others in “Unfinished Business”

Will

(voiceover) It was the night of Simon’s date with Tara, and to make the occasion, he’d dressed like a dick.

Will

Are you actually gonna wear that?

Simon

Yes.

Will

Interesting.

Simon

Look, if I’m gonna get a girlfriend, I’m gonna have to try and different plan than the one I had for Carli.

Will

Oh, was there a plan with Carli? I thought you just lurched from one disaster to another.

Simon

Yeah. Well, I know what I need to do with Tara. Just pretend to be someone I’m not, that I go to gigs, wear hats, and most importantly, sort out D-R-U-G-S.

Will

Shh! My mum’s in.

Simon

So?

Will

She can spell.

Ooh. You two look very smart. Where are you off to?

Will

Oh, um, we’re just going to pick up Neil. Then we’re going to a gig.

A gig? Wow. Yeah, I remember my first gig. INXS, Hammersmith Odeon. One of the band members went off stage, then came back on a skateboard. We all screamed. Yeah, looking back, I’m not sure why he did it.

Will

Heh. We’re going to go now.

Well, have fun, and if anyone does offer you any D-R-U-G-S, be careful.

Will

What?

I overheard you. Oh, it’s okay, petal. I know boys will be boys, but I can trust YOU to do the responsible thing. Very lucky to have you, because you’re so boring.

Will

Boring?

Well, not boring. Just scared of things.

Will

Scared?

Sensible. That’s the word I’m looking for. Sensible. You’re very sensible, so I don’t have to worry about you as much. Because you’re so scared.

Will

Thanks, Mum.