Me and my silly pride. Well, I promise you this, Norton: I'm gonna learn. I'm gonna learn from here on out how to swallow my pride.
Norton: Well, that ought not to be too hard; you've learned how to swallow everything else.
Ralph: GET OUT!
All S1
Ralph: Peanuts! Peanuts, Alice! What am I supposed to do with peanuts?
Alice: Eat 'em, like any other elephant!
Ralph: You're the type of person that would bend waaaaay over to pick up a purse on April Fools' Day. I wouldn't.
Alice: You couldn't.
(Ralph is outraged that he and Alice now have a phone)
Ralph: What's the matter, is yelling out the window too good for you now? Was it raining out?
Alice: Yelling out the window is bad manners.
Ralph: Don't you make any nasty remarks about my mother. She's been yelling out the window for 80 years!
Alice: Yeah? And before she lost her voice, there were more people listening to her than to Amos 'n' Andy.
Don't start that again, Alice. No wife of mine is gonna work. I got my pride. You know, no Kramden woman has ever supported her husband. The Kramden men are the workers in the family.
Alice: Wait a minute, Ralph. What about your father? For a long time there he didn't work at all.
Ralph: But neither did my mother. At least he kept his pride, Alice. He went on relief.
What am I supposed to tell my mother when you're not here?
Ralph: I don't care. Tell her I ran off and joined the circus.
Alice: What as, an elephant?
Ralph: Oh, you're a riot, Alice, a regular riot. I'll bet you got the whole building laughing. Ha, ha, ho, ho! You know, you're the one ought to join the circus. You ought to be in the circus. You'd be funnier than that Emmett Kelly, the clown they got there. Much funnier. In fact, you look a little bit like him. All except for one thing: the big red nose.
[cocks his fist at Alice]
And you might get that before this is over.
NNorton
Ralph?
Ralph: What?
Norton: Mind if I smoke?
Ralph: I don't care if you burn.
That's the trouble with you, Alice. You don't know the latest developments!
Alice: I don't know the latest developments??! Who is it that lets your pants out every other day??
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Honeymooners pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.