Alice Kramden quotes from The Honeymooners

Only myself to blame. My mother warned me.

(To Ralph): Ahhhh, shaddap!

(To Ralph): The biggest thing you ever got into was your pants.

(To Ralph): I don't wanna look at that icebox, that stove, that sink, and these four walls. I wanna look at Liberace!

Alice

I'll go fix my lipstick. I won't be gone long, Killer. I call you Killer 'cause you slay me.

Ralph: And I'm calling Bellevue 'cause you're nuts!

Alice

What am I supposed to tell my mother when you're not here?

Ralph: I don't care. Tell her I ran off and joined the circus.

Alice: What as, an elephant?

Ralph: Oh, you're a riot, Alice, a regular riot. I'll bet you got the whole building laughing. Ha, ha, ho, ho! You know, you're the one ought to join the circus. You ought to be in the circus. You'd be funnier than that Emmett Kelly, the clown they got there. Much funnier. In fact, you look a little bit like him. All except for one thing: the big red nose.

[cocks his fist at Alice]

And you might get that before this is over.