Steven Crain quotes from The Haunting of Hill House

Steven Crain

I've seen a lot of ghosts. Just not the way you think. A ghost can be a lot of things. A memory, a daydream, a secret. Grief, anger, guilt. But, in my experience, most times they're just what we want to see. Most times, a ghost is a wish.

Steven Crain

Just because someone's a good person, just because you care about them... doesn't mean they won't burn you.

Steven Crain

[to his father] The only difference between you and the stuff of campfire stories is that you keep getting older.

Steven Crain

Nell was delusional, depressed, Luke's an addict, Shirley is a control freak, and Theo's basically a clenched fist with hair.

Steven Crain

I've lived with ghosts since I was a kid. Since before I knew they were even there. Ghosts are guilt, ghosts are secrets, ghosts are regrets and failings. But most times most times a ghost is a wish. Like a marriage is a wish. A marriage can be like a house and a marriage can be haunted, and I let that happen to us. And I'm so sorry, Leigh.

Steven Crain

Fear. Fear is the relinquishment of logic, the willing relinquishing of reasonable patterns. But so, it seems, is love. Love is the relinquishment of logic. The willing relinquishing of reasonable patterns. We yield to it or we fight it but we cannot meet it halfway. Without it, we cannot continue for long to exist sanely under conditions of absolute reality. Hill House, not sane, stands against its hills holding darkness within. It has stood for a hundred years and might stand a hundred more. Within, walls continue upright, bricks meet neatly, floors are firm and doors are sensibly shut. Silence lay steadily against the wood and stone of Hill House and those who walk there walk together.

Shirley Crain

The fuck, Steve?

Steven Crain

[worried] You didn't like it.

Shirley Crain

No, I didn't like it.

What's going on?

Shirley Crain

My brother raped the family, is what's going on.

Steven Crain

Hang on...

Shirley Crain

Look, I get that things haven't gone well for your writing, and when you said you wanted to do a book about the house, I understand that, but this...

Steven Crain

I sent you guys the manuscript in case you had any objections. I didn't have to do that.

Shirley Crain

Of course, we object. I object, Steve.

Let's calm down a bit.

Shirley Crain

You be calm, Leigh. It's not your name in here. It's not your family.

OK, it is my family...

Shirley Crain

You weren't here. [turns back to Steven] Nell, Luke, Theo, they were kids, the things they told you in confidence.

Steven Crain

It's clear they were kids...

Shirley Crain

You make Mom sound fucking crazy. And the Dudleys and Dad? This is the worst of the bullshit. Worse than the tabloids.

Steven Crain

Dad had every opportunity to set that straight. What am I supposed to write? He said it was haunted. Those are his words.

Shirley Crain

He was a wreck and he just lost his wife.

Steven Crain

And he hasn't said SHIT since. Does he talk to you, Shirl? Does he talk to you about what happened that night? Because all I've got are those tabloid quotes. He refuses to tell us anything else.

Shirley Crain

He believed it, Steve. When he said those things, he believed them. In the moment, at least, and you never did.

Steven Crain

Neither did you.

Shirley Crain

And now you're digging up that stuff for a buck? So you can stop living off credit for a change?

Steven Crain

[frustrated] A buck?

[to Shirley] Look, I can tell that you're upset, but Steve...

Steven Crain

A buck? Do you know how much money they're offering on the advance? We can buy a house, we can move to L.A. We can... I need to start a life for my own family.

Shirley Crain

We're our family, Steve. What you're doing to Mom...

Steven Crain

Mom was mentally ill. It's a fact. I'll be damned if the apple didn't fall too far from... [he stops himself and Shirley is shaken by his words] I'm sorry.

Shirley Crain

Wow.

Steven Crain

I'm sorry. That was...

Shirley Crain

Wow.

Steven Crain

Nobody's buying the novel, Shirl.

Shirley Crain

You gave me the book. Now you know what I think. You publish this, you know what it costs.

Young Shirley Crain

Where's Mom?

Young Steven Crain

I thought I saw her upstairs.

That's not Mom.

Steven Crain

So is this your first rehab, Joey?

Uh, it's far from it. Some of us are addicted to treatment centers, huh?

Steven Crain

It's not Luke's first rodeo either. So what's different this time? Something must be. I mean, you know the definition of insanity--

Luke Crain

Steve.

Steven Crain

Doing the same thing over and over--

--and expecting different results. Sure, man. Sure. They're all different, though. Every day is different, every craving is different, every meeting is different--

Steven Crain

Right, I'm not trying to suggest that you're not taking this seriously.

Oh, and I'm just--this time around--I'm just speaking for myself--I got more support. And I'm giving more support. So in a sense I guess you could say, it looks like the same thing over and over again, but that's not insanity. Out there on the streets, that's insanity.

Steven Crain

Of course.

So that's what recovery is, you know, it's the same thing over and over again in spite of the results--or in spite of a backslide or in spite of a full-fledged fucking relapse. Doesn't mean you stop just because it gets a little repetitive. One day at a time. When we decide to get clean it's not because we expect it to be fucking exciting, you know?

Luke Crain

She saved me!

Nell Crain

I feel a little clearer just now. We have.

Theodora Crain

Nell?

Nell Crain

All of us have. Wouldn't have changed anything. I need you to know that.

Steven Crain

Nell.

Nell Crain

The rest is confetti.

Steven Crain

Hey.

Nell Crain

So many times and we didn't know it. All of us.

Shirley Crain

Nelly?

Nell Crain

No, not a heart.

Steven Crain

Nell?

Nell Crain

A stomach. We have. All of us have.

Steven Crain

I don't think she can hear us.

Nell Crain

So many times and we didn't know it.

Steven Crain

All right, we need to get Luke out of here, we need to get him to a hospital - I don't get it.

Theodora Crain

All this time we tried to get into this room and now we can't get the fuck out.

Shirley Crain

I feel like I've been here before.

Nell Crain

We have. All of us have. So many times and we didn't know it. All of us. I feel a bit clearer now. Everything's been out of order. Time, I mean. I thought for so long that time was like a line, that... that our moments were laid out like dominoes, and that they... fell, one into another and on it went, just days tipping, one into the next, into the next, in a long line between the beginning... and the end. But I was wrong. It's not like that at all. Our moments fall around us like rain. Or... snow. Or confetti. You were right. We have been in this room. So many times and we didn't know. All of us. Mom says... that a house is like a body... and that every house... has eyes. And bones. And skin. And a face. This room is like the heart of the house. No, not a heart, a stomach. It was your dance studio, Theo. It was my toy room. It was a reading room for mom. A game room for Steve. A family room for Shirley. A treehouse. But it was always the Red Room. It put on different faces so that'd we'd be still and quiet. While it digested. I'm like a small creature swallowed whole by a monster. And the monster feels my tiny little movements inside.

Nell Crain

You have to live.

Luke Crain

I don't- I don't know how to do this without you.

Nell Crain

I learned a secret. There's no without. I am not gone. I'm scattered into so many pieces, sprinkled on your life like new snow. There's so much I want to say to you all.

Theodora Crain

I'm so sorry our last words were in anger.

Nell Crain

They weren't our last.

Shirley Crain

I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I didn't... answer the phone.

Nell Crain

But you did. So many times.

Steven Crain

I'm sorry if I didn't listen, and I'm sorry...

Nell Crain

It wouldn't have changed anything. I need you to know that. Forgiveness is warm. Like a tear on a cheek. Think of that and of me when you stand in the rain. I loved you completely. And you loved me the same. That's all. The rest is confetti.