Okay, everyone, welcome to "The Day After" emergency assembly. First of all, I just want to assure you that everything is gonna be okay.
It will not be okay! There's nowhere to hid in a nuclear winter!
Whoa. [chuckles] What Coach means is that there could be a nuclear winter, but it definitely won't happen. Till it does. Does not, because it was just a movie.
That will, for sure, come true.
Look, I know a lot of you are scared that the President is gonna snap, push a button, and incinerate us all, but I assure you, it will not happen.
When it does, I'll be safe and snug in my fallout shelter while the rest of you mutants scrounge for cockroaches.
[Mr Glascott looks confused]
What, you got no argument for that one?
No, you're right. That movie has shaken me to my core. I have so many regrets.
You got about a week to fix 'em, Andre.
Well, let's start with that one right there. My name is not Andre. I only said it was in college to make myself seem more interesting to the ladies.
Let it out!
My name is Jonathan! And I love you, Lunch Lady Bernice! Are you out there?
[The students look at each other]
You're probably mashing potatoes. Oh, boy. Okay, this day is a wash.
Everybody go home and hug your loved ones.
[They cheer and applause]
I know I should be happy to have the day off, but I'm, like, genuinely terrified.
Me too. I feel so helpless. I never even got to party in Daytona.
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