[voiceover] Back in the '80s, Stephen King was the master of horror. The man seemed to write a new book every week, and I devoured them all. But my favorite, "Misery," a story about a woman who kept a writer captive till he wrote her the story of her dreams.
Schmoop-a-loop. Don't forget we're going underpants shopping tomorrow.
I remember you saying that. I don't remember agreeing to it.
I suppose you're too old for Underoos now?
Yes! I'm in a high school! God, this is a nightmare I can't escape from.
[sighs] Guess I'll have to put these in my scrapbook now.
[voiceover] Stephen King made me want to write horror stories, too. I just hadn't found anything horrific to write about.
Let me see. What is scary?
Kissy monster attack!
[voiceover] And if my writer's block weren't bad enough, I had this to deal with, too.
Whoo! That was good for me. Okay, meatloaf burgers in 20. [chuckles] [mumbling] Ohh! [laughs]
[voiceover] Wait. That was it. I already lived in my own Stephen King horror tale, and I was gonna write about the scariest monster of them all...
Kissy monster attack!
...my horrifying smother.
Feed on chubby cheeks!
More from this episode
All quotes from this episode →More The Goldbergs quotes · These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Goldbergs pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.