Barney Rubble quotes from The Flintstones

Barney

Frederick! Frederick! I HATE FREDERICK!

Barney

Now you listen to me Fred Flintstone

Barney

Hee hee hee... whatever you say, Fred!

Barney

But Fred, my legs are getting tired.

Fred

Are your legs tired or are you tired of living? Keep pumping!

Barney

I'm too pooped to pump.

Wilma

It won't be long now. Barney's running out of gas.

I know. It'll be nice to have them back.

Of all the dumb tricks you stupid pesky blockhead Fred Flintstone that trampoline business takes the cake. I'm very disappointed in you. And you've deliberately disobeyed me… I do not want to jump the trampoline again. Do you hear me. This trampoline is for kids.

Barney

Yes Wilma! Watch your mouth and stop calling me stupid pesky blockhead.

Barney

Why should I fill the pool for that hippopotamus next door?

Because the wife of that hippopotamus next door happens to be my best friend, that's why.

The fence comes down because the wife of that little sawed off runt happens to be my best friend.

Fred

"Hm. Here's the crook of the month."15,000 reward for information leading to apprehension of Albert Bonehart. Wanted for questioning in disappearance of three former wives, Bonehart's fourth wife was last seen in a little railroad station in a valise, a ladies hatbox, and an executive's briefcase." Well, that's one way to send your wife to the country."Description, Bonehart is 5'10", has wavy hair, a natty mustache, and walks with a limp, due to an impediment, Bonehart speaks with a slight British accent, and has difficulty pronouncing 'good evening'."Approach with caution."No one I know. Oh, well.Good night, Wilma.

Wilma

Good night, Fred.

It is a birdcage.

Barney

Why would you keep a fishy in a birdcage?

Because it's a flying fishy. The world's rarest fishy.The legendary man-eating piranhakeet.

[chirping] [screeches]

Barney

That's cute. Is this piranhakeet, uh, finger-trained?

Look out. Fingers, toes, whatever it can get its teeth into. It's the only flying man-eater in the world and the other scientists think it's extinct.

Which reminds me of my other motive for stopping by.May I use your phone to call Agatha? Mine's been disconnected.

Fred

Okay but don't forget to reverse the charges on your alibi.

Of course, You know.Certainly. Hello, pussycat. [Agatha chatters angrily] But, pussycat, I am sending the trunk with your weights and barbells. [angry chatter continues] I know you're out of shape. I didn't mean it that way, pussycat. [chattering continues]Of course, you need a workout. I'll try to be there as soon as I can.

Your suspicions are correct. The story had a happy ending. Science was indeed astounded by my discovery of a living man-eater which can be trained to eat wives, too, if necessary. Chirp for the people.

[chirping][screeches]

Please forgive its toothy grin. It acts just like a canary that ate the pussycat.Good evening.

Melville J. Muchrocks is a crook.

Fred

Muchrocks a crook? Are you sure?

Wilma

Absolutely, he's wanted by the police.

We heard him described to a T.

Fred

Wilma, do you know where they went?

Wilma

They said they were going to the amusement park and then to dinner. Oh my poor mother.

Fred

Don't you worry sweetheart, you leave it to me. Barney.

Barney

Yeah Fred?

Fred

C'mon, let's go.

Barney

Right Fred.

Fred

You ever play football, Barney?

Barney

Yeah Fred, why?

Fred

Because you're going to run interference while I intercept a proposal.

Wilma

Have you made any plans, Fred?

Fred

Yeah. I figure we can sell the car and then we'll have enough money to eat.

Barney

While we're hitchhiking home.

Hitchhiking home?

Wilma

Fred Flintstone! Did you lose all our money?

Fred

Yes Wilma.

OOH! NOO!

Fred

Hey, maybe a drink of 412-up will help! [Barney is still hiccuping] Hold it Barney! Here, drink this! [Forcibly pours the concoction down Barney's throat]

Barney

Yuck! Woo, that tastes awful! I, uh, I feel kinda funny, Fred!

Fred

What do you mean, funny? [Barney starts wobbling and making weird noises] Barney! What's the matter? [Barney disappears] Oh boy... Barney, where are you?

Barney

I'm right in front of you! Boy, you must need glasses!

Fred

Huh?

Barney

That drink did the trick, Fred! The hiccups have completely disappeared!

Fred

And you with them, Barney! You're invisible!

Barney

What’s up.

Fred

What's up? Any more interference from that domineering, loudmouth female brontosaurus, and she'll be what's up. Wham, Right into space.

Barney

Oh, Wilma's mother's back, huh?

Fred

Of course not! I'm talking about that antiseptic refugee from the psycho ward! The nurse, Miss Frightenshale.

Fred

We got to get out of here before something worse happens.

Barney

Yeah, like he could burp us to death.

Fred

Cut it out, Barney! Stop giving him ideas!

Fred

Look at Dino over there, look how he's lying there missing me.

Barney

[sarcastically] Yeah, he sure looks like he's missing you all right. [chuckles]

Fred

Hey, Dino. Psst, psst. Dino. Here, Dino. Come to Daddy. [Dino wakes up] Come to Daddy and show him how much you miss him. [Dino walks over to Fred] That's a good Dino. You miss your dadda, don't you? [Dino growls and bites Fred's nose] Yeowch! [Dino walks away barking] How do you like that? And he's supposed to be man's best friend.

Barney

Yeah, he sure didn't miss you that time, Fred. [laughs]

Fred

Diabogeny!

Fred

Where's your get up and go?

Barney

It just got up and went.

Sometimes I just don't know what's the matter with men.

Barney

That's easy - you women!