(07-16-2009) The Sears Tower is now called the Willis Tower. Man, Bruce Willis is loaded. This Is the Colbert Report!
(07-21-2009) It's all fun and games, 'til somebody loses an eye. Then the game becomes "find the eye". This Is the Colbert Report!
(07-22-2009) A mother's work is never done, which reminds me, "Mom, cue the theme music". This is the Colbert Report!
(07-27-2009) If anyone at Comic-Con found a pair of dark brown, pin-on Princess Leia buns with the initials S.C. — they're not mine, but you can send them here. This Is the Colbert Report!
(07-29-2009) Today's Colbert Club kids' activity, color in more of my hair! This Is the Colbert Report!
(December 09) Nation, no man is an island, but I have one hell of a peninsula! This Is the Colbert Report!
(January 19, 2010) "Apple is about to introduce their new iTablet. You're gonna wanna buy two of them, iMoses! This is The Colbert Report!"
(January 20, 2010) "Love means never having to say you're sorry. That's why I never apologize to my mirror. This is The Colbert Report!"
(January 21, 2010) "Never let them see you sweat. Especially in HD, 'cause it looks like a mudslide. This is The Colbert Report!"
(January 25, 2010) "Did you hear? I'm the new Quarterback of the Minnesota Vikings!. This is The Colbert Report!"
(January 27, 2010) "Seriously, I want an iPad . This is The Colbert Report!"
(February 1, 2010) "Happy Black History month, to all my black VIEWER! This is The Colbert Report!"
(February 3, 2010) Jon Stewart went on The O'Reilly Factor tonight! I hope he brought me back a toaster. This is The Colbert Report!
(February 4, 2010) "If it's an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth, why is there no Eyefairy? This is The Colbert Report!
(February 10, 2010) "Honda is recalling almost a million vehicles for faulty airbags. It seems that the only Japanese company we can trust these days are the guys that make sex robots. This is The Colbert Report!"
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Colbert Report pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.