(February 21, 2010) "Tonight! I'm in Vancouver for the 2010 Olympic Games. They only have two weeks, how are they gonna fit in 2010 games? ... It's 11:30 at night and the Sun is still shining. They wonder, why's there no snow here? This is The Colbert Report!
(March 2, 2010) "Happy Birthday, Dr. Seuss! This is The Colbert Repoose!
(April 20, 2010) "Don't cry over spoiled milk. Get angry and punch a cow! This is The Colbert Report!
(April 27, 2010) " Senators Schumer and Franken want to improve Facebook's privacy practices. Guys, just go on Myspace! You can have all the privacy in the world. This is the COLBERT REPORT!
(May 4, 2010) " Don't put off till tomorrow what you can do today. I meant to tell you that yesterday, but f**k it ! This is the Colbert Report!"
(July 1, 2010) "It's Fourth of July weekend, or, as I call it, Exploding Christmas. This is The Colbert Report! "
(August 18, 2010) "Wired magazine says the internet is dead. I hope the LOL-cats made it out alive. This is The Colbert Report!"
(June,15 2011) A 99 year old Oregon man just graduated from college, Ouch! Bad time to enter the job market. This is The Colbert Report!
(September 25, 2012) I have got an iPhone 5, and Apple Maps says I'm in Norway. This is The Colbert Report!
(28 Jun 2012) John Roberts' health care vote is the worst betrayal since Benedict Arnold teamed up with Judas to stab Caesar right in the croutons.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Colbert Report pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.