Stephen Colbert quotes from The Colbert Report

Stephen

(6-18-2008) This is the dawning of the age of Colbarious. This Is the Colbert Report!

Stephen

(6-19-2008) Beauty isn't in the eye of the beholder. I've checked. There's nothing in there but veins and goo. This Is the Colbert Report!

Stephen

(6-23-2008) Guests of the Colbert Report stay at the luxurious, Crashing with a friend. This Is the Colbert Report!

Stephen

(6-24-2008) I promise to deliver the truth in the next 30 minutes or it's free. This Is the Colbert Report!

Stephen

(6-25-2008) What do I want? My own show! When do I want it? Now! This Is the Colbert Report!

Stephen

(6-26-2008) I'm about to take two weeks off. You know what that means! Fresh Injuries. This Is the Colbert Report!

Stephen

(6-26-2008) Many states don't allow the sale of fireworks. To me it's not the Fourth of July until I'm rolling on the ground screaming for somebody to put me out.

Stephen

(7-22-2008) I'm a man of few words but I say them over and over and over. This Is the Colbert Report!

Stephen

(7-28-2008) Do not store me near an open flame. My contents are under pressure. This Is the Colbert Report!

Stephen

(7-29-2008) I always give a 110% so the way I see it, somebody gives me a 10% refund. This Is the Colbert Report!

Stephen

(7-30-2008) For every action, I have a superior and opposite reaction. This Is the Colbert Report!

Stephen

(7-31-2008) Frère Jacques, frère Jacques, dormez-truth? This Is the Colbert Report!

Stephen

(8-04-2008) America, I wear the pants in this relationship. Most of the time. This Is the Colbert Report!

Stephen

(8-05-2008) The way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Just make sure to stab with an upward motion. This Is the Colbert Report!

Stephen

(8-06-2008) You know what they say, if it ain't broke, let me at it. This Is the Colbert Report!