Stephen(05-12-2009) All proceeds of tonight's show go to a worthy cause. My advertisers. This Is the Colbert Report!
Played by Stephen Colbert
The Colbert Report · 250 quotes
Most-quoted character in The Colbert Report: in 250 of its 250 quotes
Most scenes with: The Wørd (5)
Lines by Stephen Colbert 239
StephenStephen(05-13-2009) When in Rome, I find a McDonald's that they speak in English. This Is the Colbert Report!
Stephen(05-14-2009) Hey, blessings in disguise. What are you hiding? This Is the Colbert Report!
StephenCatholics with options are called "Protestants."
Stephen(05-15-2009) No man is a failure who has friends... unless his friends are failures! This Is the Colbert Report!
Stephen(05-20-2009) You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. It also makes them taste better. This Is the Colbert Report!
Stephen(05-21-2009) Green Day is here to talk about their new album 21st Century Breakdown. I believe it's about Windows Vista.
Stephen(05-21-2009) I'm all that and a bag of celery. I'm trying to slim down for bikini season. This Is the Colbert Report!
Stephen(06-01-2009) Congratulations to Conan O’Brien on his first show tonight, which I believe starts at midnight. This is the Colbert Report!
Stephen(06-04-2009) This shows got everything. From soup to nuts. By the way, stay away from the soup, my nuts were in there. This is the Colbert Report!
Stephen(06-15-2009) Bathing suit season is right around the corner. For you prudes who still wear them. This Is the Colbert Report!
Stephen(06-18-2009) To make a long story short, give Joe Biden a sedative. This Is the Colbert Report!
Stephen(06-19-2009) Summer is in full swing. Hey summer, consider a jock strap. This Is the Colbert Report!
Stephen(06-24-2009) You snooze. You loose. Unless it's a sleeping contest. This Is the Colbert Report!
Stephen(06-25-2009) Hey yogurt, if you're so cultured, how come I never see you at the opera? This is the Colbert Report!
Stephen(06-30-2009) Bernie, look on the bright side. When you get out, nobody will suspect a 221 year old man. This Is the Colbert Report!
Stephen(07-01-2009) Today's Canada Day and I celebrated it the way I always do, by not knowing its Canada Day. This Is the Colbert Report!
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