[Firecracker is filming her new episode of TruthBomb and starts reading her opening monologue from a teleprompter]
Welcome to Truthbomb. Our top story tonight's a personal one. It's the story of my hometown church, Holy Baptist of Daytona. It was the church I grew up in. Sang my hymns from the pews there every Sunday. But that church... That church…
[The teleprompter stops scrolling]
[beat] That church... has become a hotbed of Starlighter infestation. And my old pastor, Reverend Greg Dupree, has been infected by Starlight's seditious propaganda. Now... I never told a soul this, but when I was a little girl, the reverend regularly had me over for supper. Alone. [pause; chuckles] No. Nothing ever happened to me, but... [sighs] I heard stories about his "Fish Fry Fridays." And if that ain't code for child groomin', I don't know what is. How much longer are we gonna let these institutional pedo churches diddle our babies? Americans deserve better. They deserve... Homelander. They deserve the Democratic Church of America. [starts crying]
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