[Hughie visits his father in the hospital and sees his mother by his side]
How is he?
He's the same.
[beat; sighs] Look, my plan was to come in here, you know, fight you bloody over Dad, but um… I have had a day, and I think what I really just wanna know right now is… Why?
Why what?
Why'd you leave? How? How could you leave me?
[pause; clears her throat] I was, uh… 22 when I had you. Mm-hmm. [chuckles] Oh, those dimples. But I was depressed. Postpartum. Uh… You know, people think depression, they think, “Oh, so you’re sleepy, so what?” But it’s… not like that. It… It’s painful. It hurts. My friends all said, “Give it a month, six months, a year,” but it–it never went away.
But you were always so fun. We’d have dance parties.
I never wanted you to see it. But… getting dressed was like… climbing Everest. And so, one night, I just took 40 Ambien and tried to kill myself. Thank God I threw them up in the toilet. So the next day, I… took you to school, and I left. I didn’t want to, but… it was life or death for me.
I didn’t know that.
Why would you?
You, um… you never called.
I tried. But your dad was so hurt, and–and… he didn’t want me to confuse you. So, eventually, I just stopped. I thought, you know, maybe I wasn’t cut out to be a parent. And I know you’ve spent a lot of your life hating me and thinking I’m the villain, and I would never ask for your forgiveness. But I’m really sorry, Hughie, that I hurt you. I was just fucked up, you know?
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