Interior scene, supermarket. Robert Freeman is browsing a shelf while grocery shopping.
My grandfather, Robert Jebediah Freeman, after a lifetime of odd adventures and strange mishaps, decided to spend his last days in the warm embrace of suburbia. So he moved to his perfect house in his prefect neighborhood. But he was still searching for his perfect woman. For what reason, I have no idea.
It's shown that Granddad is looking at male enhancement pills. His concentration is interrupted by a tantruming white child breaking something.
I WANT CANDY! Damn it, I hate you! You're ruining my life, bitch! CANDY! I want candy!
[sheepishly trying to interrupt] Please, Herbert, remember our agreement. We have an agreement for how we behave in the store, Herbert!
Herbert smashes another full glass jar of jam on the ground.
Give me candy, give me candy! I! WANT! CANDYYYYYYY! I want candy and marshmallows! Give it to me, give it to me!
As this happens, various other customers in the store look on with expressions of concern, pity and annoyance.
[sobbing] Herbert... Oh!
[continuing in background] And I want pasta, and none of that Chef Boyardee crap!
Hmm, he sure looks like a handful.
When he gets like this, I just don't know how to make him stop.
I WANT CANDY AND MARSHMALLOWS! I want candy and marshmallows!
Herbert topples an entire shelf over, destroying several products.
Have you ever tried beatin' his ass?
Herbert is about to break a box of 32 eggs, but pauses when he notices Granddad remove his belt and give it to his mother. Tense music plays.
[softly] What's...with the belt?
Herbert looks on in fear. Granddad briefly demonstrates how to use the belt as a whip. Herbert tries to run, but his mother leaps after him and begins whipping the screaming Herbert offscreen. Granddad looks on with pride.
The nerve! ...of you! ...in front of these people! YOU MUSTA LOST YOUR GODDAMN MIND!
The other customers before are now looking on with expressions of approval and amusement.
[wailing] Mom, stop!
Not many men would stop to help a women in need.
Well, uh... I guess I just hate to see a child go unbeaten.
I'm Cristal, like the champagne.
I'm Granddad.
Hello, cutie.
Yeah... I'd rather not.
My name's Cristal, like the champagne.
Well, that sounds like a stripper name. Cristal, like the champagne, might you be a stripper?
And just what do you know about strippers, little man?
Not much, but I do know they're usually named after liquor.
I just love grocery stores in rich neighborhoods. Much better stuff. Check out this special French whipped cream. It's edible.
Somebody's busy.
$153, 12 cents is your total. Will this be cash or charge?
More from this episode
All quotes from this episode →More The Boondocks quotes · These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Boondocks pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.