Raj and Lucy in “The Monster Isolation”

Just a sec. Oh, I said 'just a sec'. I hate myself. [Opens door.] Hello.

Hi.

Would you like to come in?

Um. No. I can't stay.

Oh.

I just wanted to say I'm sorry for running out of the coffee shop. That wasn't cool. So, ah, yeah. I'm sorry.

Wait. Can you at least tell me what went wrong? It's okay, I can take anything. Unless it's something I did or said or am, 'cause those are like my buttons.

No. It's not any of that. It's just I kind have a hard time around people I don't know.

Really? Then what were you doing at the comic book store that night?

I've been trying to force myself into situations that I'm not comfortable with. I saw the flyer in the store window and I made myself go in. I don't even like comic books.

Yeah, me neither.

Then what were you doing in there?

I lied. I love them. I only said that so you would go out with me.

You don't want to do that. I'm kind of broken.

That's great! I'm broken too.

Oh no you're not.

Oh I totally am. If it wasn't for this beer I couldn't even talk to you right now. I'm a wreck. There are many things seriously wrong with me. And not quirks either. Like diagnosable psychological problems. Maybe brain damage.

Well. How do I know you're not just saying that?

Go out with me on one date and I promise you you'll see.

OK. Text me. Bye.

You won't regret it. I'm the most pathetic guy you ever met. [To himself.] And that, boys and girls, is how it's done.