VMVirgin Megastores buyer
(about Invicta's children's calendar) It's got a look of desktop publishing about it.
Mani Sandher: Does it?
Virgin Megastores buyer: I don't think we'll be able to pay more than £2.70-£2.75 for this.
(silence)
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
I just don't know whether you're some sort of bloody nutter. (to Jo Cameron)
Do I need another corporate lawyer? The answer is no. Karen, you're fired!
We need 100 chickens, we need 30 kilos of minced beef, and we need 45 kilos of gammon. So I'll repeat that again, 45 kilos of gammon, minced beef 30 kilos, chicken: 100 chickens. (on the phone to the wholesaler)
(In an Italian accent) You mess with me, I carve you up!
So that's 100 chickens and 100 chicken tikka pizzas, one chicken per pizza?
Alexa Tilley: That... that sounds like a lot of chickens.
Velocity had a float of £2,000. They spent £1,097, and they took £1,423, so they made a profit of £326.
Sir Alan Sugar: Right, okay. Nick?
Nick Hewer: Well, Invicta were also given a budget of £2,000... they spent it.
Sir Alan Sugar: They spent all of it?
Nick Hewer: Yep, bar £6. Took only £1,186, which resulted I'm afraid in a thumping loss of £807.
Sir Alan Sugar: LOSS! That's a first, chaps! That's a first!
What a shower. What a bloody shower! (about the losing team)
I've set you lot a task and now have got to fire someone; quite frankly I'd like to get rid of the bleeding three of you. Tell me why I shouldn't get rid of you, now!
Syed Ahmed: Because I'm a winner, Sir Alan, that's why.
Sir Alan Sugar: You're not a bloody winner! You lost!
Syed Ahmed: I've learnt from my mistakes, and I've learnt from this, definitely, and this well never happen again.
Sir Alan Sugar: Business is not about come in, piss my money up the wall, "Oh, never mind, sorry you lost it, now you've learnt your lesson, you won't do it again."
Syed Ahmed: I've learnt life the hard way, from a young age.
Sir Alan Sugar: I hold you 100% responsible.
Syed Ahmed: And I put in 150%.
Sir Alan Sugar: I hold you 100% responsible!
Syed Ahmed: I stepped up to the mark, and I...
Sir Alan Sugar: I'm sorry, Syed, I hold you 100% responsible. But... (to Alexa) I warned you, I warned you severely about this. You have not come to the table today, I still don't understand what you did. He [Syed] should be going with you also... You're a very, very bad manager. You didn't manage this thing properly. You're a lightweight. You're fired! (brief pause) I'm really angry with this situation. Clear off!
(Alexa, Syed and Tuan get up and start to leave. Before walking out the door, Syed turns to Sir Alan)
Syed Ahmed: Thank you, Sir Alan, thank you for the opportunity. (leaves)
Sir Alan Sugar: Cheeky bastard. "Thank you for the opportunity."
(to Mani Sandher) You think you did a good job?
Mani Sandher: I did the best job I could.
Sir Alan Sugar: (to Invicta) How did we get on here then? How do you like having a lady operating you then? Any good?
(brief pause)
Don't all rush.
Tuan Le: Could be better.
Sir Alan Sugar: (to Alexa Tilley) You think you did a good job?
Alexa Tilley: I enjoyed it. I think we worked alright together as a team.
Sir Alan Sugar: Anything else you've got to say chaps?
Paul Tulip: I'd be very surprised if we won.
ICThe Invicta Chef
(on the argument between Samuel and Tuan) Welcome to the catering world.
It was dictated to you? By who?
Syed Ahmed: By the chef.
Sir Alan Sugar: What, the chef said 'Buy 100 chickens'? (doubtfully) You sure?
ATAlexa Tilley
I had to take my lead from Tuan and Syed because I don't have restaurant experience.
Nick Hewer: Well, you did work in a pizza parlor, you told me.
Alexa Tilley: Yes, I sold pizzas at Asda but I don't really have experience of quantities that would go into producing that number of pizzas.
(to the camera) If I get brought back into the boardroom, I'm gonna laugh my head off and just absolutely annihilate Alexa. (In the end Paul wasn't brought back into the final boardroom)
I did have a preview of that tape before. Nick actually gave it to me and when he gave it to me, I thought he had mixed it up with one of his other videos, because to me it looks like a 1970s porno movie Debbie Does Dallas. (Nick and Ruth exchange amused looks)
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Apprentice pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.