Tell me what you mean by autocratic?
Mani Sandher: I haven't got time for this - look it up in the dictionary.
Ruth Badger: Okay. Patronising as well.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
You seem to have gone from anchor to wanker! (to Mani Sandher)
How many stripes have you got?
Syed Ahemd: I've got loads of stripes!
Paul Tulip: No, let's have a look at how many stripes you've got under there 'cause the more you have, the more important you are.
Syed Ahmed: (understanding Paul's question) I've got three.
Paul Tulip: Oh! It's just that I've got four! (showing Syed his shoulder stripes)
(on reading Jo Cameron's CV) Says here she used to train Financial Directors for MG Rover. No wonder they went bloody skint.
Jo, you've been here too many times. It's a shame, but I thought you had more potential. But Jo, I'm sorry to say, this time, you're fired.
Jo Cameron: I thought I expected this, because I accept the fact I've been here four times, but I think that what that demonstrates is that I've got the resilience of a survivor. I'm happy to go out here on the basis of like, being crap, but I don't believe that I am...
Sir Alan Sugar: Jo, Jo. There comes a time when everybody - everybody - is saying the same thing, and even me, I will say 'You know what? Give it up Alan, enough's enough.' Jo, you're fired.
Jo Cameron: Can I just ask one more time just to give me one last chance?
Sir Alan Sugar: I'm afraid not. No I'm afraid not. That's it.
Samuel, can I ask you a direct question?
Samuel Judah: Yes of course, Sir Alan.
Sir Alan Sugar: Do you think if you weren't there, it would have made any difference?
Samuel, with your hands in your pockets, not a salesman...
(somewhat disdainfully) What did you do?
Samuel Judah: I contributed with the idea that...
Sir Alan Sugar: I tell you what. Do me a favor. Shut that book at the moment, I want to hear what you can do without your notes alright?
Samuel Judah: (reluctantly) Fine.
(he obeys)
Sir Alan Sugar: Shut the book, put your pen down and talk to me. Stop looking at notes, okay? What did you do?
(After Invicta win the task, they are on their treat and have had their meal. But after the meal is a row between Paul and Michelle)
Paul Tulip: Well, why did you care?
Michelle Dewberry: What? Why can I not say...
Narrator, Mark Halliley: Paul is accused of attacking Project Manager, Sharon behind her back.
Paul Tulip: Apparently, last night I was "slagging" Sharon's management style, outside. Now that is bullshit!
Sharon McAllister: No, but you did say that!
Paul Tulip: Right, well...
Michelle Dewberry: No, let me...
Paul Tulip: Right, well....do you not think that...why is she so bothered about what we're doing?
Michelle Dewberry: Wha... Who's she? Would that be me stood here?
Paul Tulip: That would be you, yeah.
Michelle Dewberry: 'Cause you two were having a conversation and you're acting like I'm not here...
Paul Tulip: It's Chinese Whispers! By the time it gets to Sharon, it's completely different!
Michelle Dewberry: And that's my fault?
Syed Ahmed: Basically...
Paul Tulip: It makes it look like we went outside last night and had a chat about Sharon! Sharon and the task wasn't even mentioned! We were talking about other...
(In the background, Michelle and Syed also argue)
Michelle Dewberry: But you're not listening to me!
Paul Tulip: 'Cause you're talking shit!
Michelle Dewberry: I don't think so, Paul! I don't think so!
Paul Tulip: You are! You're talking absolute shit!
Michelle Dewberry: Oh, fuck off! You're not even listening to me, Paul!
Paul Tulip: 'Cause you're not making sense! You're not making sense!
Michelle Dewberry: I've asked you a question! You don't even let me answer...
Paul Tulip: Well, justify yourself then! You just tell me one thing that I've said...
Michelle Dewberry: Why do I need to justify myself to you?
Paul Tulip: Because you're talking shit!
Michelle Dewberry: I don't think so.
Paul Tulip: Well, tell me one thing I said about Sharon and I'll back off like I said.
Michelle Dewberry: I repeated...right, what I've done in all of this is I said I made a mistake and I apologize to you because I'm repeating something that you told to Sharon which did center around you, and I apologize...
Paul Tulip: Right, which you didn't even hear from my mouth!
Michelle Dewberry: No! But...
Paul Tulip: That's your mistake. You've passed on something to me that you didn't even hear me say...
Syed Ahmed: Secondly...Secondly...
Paul Tulip: Well that's just...(scoffs)What more can I say?
I'll promise you this. As sure as I've got a hole in my bloody arse, when it gets down to the Final Two, all these people who are saying nice things will not. (On Michelle and Ruth's friendship)
(after failing to sell a product) We put our lipstick on for him, and he was minging!
Shut, UP!! (to Syed Ahmed)
SMSharon McAllister
(To Syed) I think you're an arrogant wanker, but good luck.
Syed...
You couldn't close a barn door even if you tripped over it! (to Tuan)
Am I asking you ventriloquist? I'm talking to him!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Apprentice pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.