The Apprentice quotes

It's an anytime treat, for after school.

Melody is a nightmare to work with. She’s come up with this one idea, and she’s pushing it and pushing it and pushing it. I don't like it, Susie doesn't like it and Tom doesn't like it. I can imagine that in the focus group, she would have talked them to death until they all held up a white flag and say “Yes, we’ll go with the bloody heart.”

If someone can't actually perform in the business that they're in, they're not going to be able to perform with me. Zoe, you're fired.

Alright, ladies, come to Papa.

Nick Hewer

(on Jim) I’ve never seen such an abundance of baloney. He’s good fun, people like him, and I quite like him now for the first time.

It's very difficult to push treacle up a hill.

Nick Hewer

They've sold their three nodding doggies... to three unsuspecting people of appalling taste. Time to get some more. Woof! Woof!

(to Tom) If you nod your head any longer, I'm going to put you on the back seat of my bloody car.

Nick Hewer

(to Jim, who is Irish) I don't know whether you kissed the Blarney Stone or swallowed it whole, but you were a tour de force.

Karren Brady

(to Lord Sugar) I think if you went into business with Melody, your board meetings would be a very, very long affair.

Melody runs a business which, unsurprisingly, is all to do with talking.

I have twenty three umbrellas, and ironically twenty three minutes left!

(after Venture 'win' the task) I had a treat lined up for you by helicopter down to Goodwood and then ride around in some vintage cars (Slight smile from Susan while Natasha and Jim see what's coming...) but you can forget that. You've won okay? But there's no balls, no guts, no reinvestment. Just get back to the house and I'll see you on the next task.

(on MyPy) It’s either utter madness or complete genius.

Didn't Christopher Columbus discover the potato?