(on the phone to Ian and Kevin) I'm concerned. Lee McQueen is concerned.
S1 E15Unfinished Business
(to Lucinda after she accuses Jennifer of being vindictive and making personal attacks on her) You have made yourself in a position of victim and portray other people in a very bad light to actually elevate your position. And I don't believe that what you're saying is a) correct, b) accurate and I think that you are a highly manipulative young lady.
Yeah, I need more cheese. I'm alright on on mushrooms, tomatoes. I need ham, I need palma ham, I need tuna. I need...I need fucking everything!
I am technically useless.
How dare you! (to Helene)
Simon, if I asked you to build me a wall, you'd build me a wall, I'm pretty sure of that. If I asked you to dig me a trench, you'd dig me a trench. But I'm not sure that if I asked you to run my investment portfolio, you'd be able to do that very well. I'm sorry my friend, I think you're a little bit out of your depth here. And with regret, you're fired.
*Simon Smith: Thank you for a wonderful opportunity.
Sir Alan Sugar: (Quietly) Okay.
(Simon turns to face Sir Alan once more)
Simon Smith: Thank you Sir Alan. Goodbye.
As I have said, I will be out there, take the CDs and the pictures and burn them, and take them back out!
Helene Speight: Fantastic!
Lucinda, you are a risk manager. What is the risk of you being fired here today?
Lucinda Ledgerwood: The probability is one in three!
Sir Alan Sugar:...What a brainstorm that was.
(on the phone) My name's Raef. I'm C.E.O of Alpha Luxury Ice Creams.
You know what I smelt then? Perfection!
Do you think that's actually going to make someone smile? (Reads from card) "A bath uses 120 litres of water, whereas a shower only uses 30. Being more efficient in the way you wash will stop your money going down the drain. Bathe less, shower more."
Kevin Shaw: If you don't put your weight behind it, then it's just the same as the US saying, "We don't care about pollution."
(Stunned looks from the Clinton Cards Representatives)
No apostrophe in the history of the English language has ever been argued over so fiercely.
(Renaissance have sold 6,000 cards so far; Alpha 3,000. One supplier left to go...)
Margaret Mountford: Celebrations didn't buy any from Renaissance.
Sir Alan Sugar: Right. And Celebrations for Alpha?
Nick Hewer: They were keener. They bought 19,500.
(very enthusiastic response from most of Alpha except, at first, for Helene. Then two seconds later she smiles)
Michael Sophocles: (punches table) COME ON! COME ON!
Lee McQueen: That's what I'm talking about!
(long pause and shocked look from Margaret)
Sir Alan Sugar: This is not a football match. This outburst of yours is...not something I would condone in this boardroom.
Michael Sophocles: I apologise, Sir Alan.
I can tell you Kevin that Clinton Cards, for example, reported that your pitch was dreadful. They found you a bit cocky, they found you preaching to them. Not selling them cards, preaching to them! There was a smell of arrogance about you, they felt. Did anyone else put themselves forward? (Claire and Jenny raise their hands) You two did?
Margaret Mountford: Can I just say that perhaps it was a good thing that Jenny didn't do it? She actually told Clintons that because of environmental concerns she wasn't buying so many cards any more.
Sir Alan Sugar: Is that right?
Jenny Celerier: (proudly) Yes, I did, Sir Alan.
Sir Alan Sugar: How can you make a statement on one hand that "I don't buy so many cards any more," and then come up with the concept, that this is what we should do?!
Jenny Celerier: I really do passionately believe that this is still a viable concept, and that pitched correctly it could...
Sir Alan Sugar: Oh, I'll tell you what, it's beyond my comprehension, this is.
This whole task turned out a fiasco, and as team leader I hold you totally responsible. Kevin, you're fired!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Apprentice pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.

