The Angry Video Game Nerd Season 1 quotes

(calling Jessica Rabbit on the phone) This is Jessica Rabbit? Well, I got your number and I'm callin' just to say "FUCK YOU!"

I hope you're proud of yourself!

Yeah, well, I hope you're proud of yourself, and you know what I mean, ya fuckin' whore.

I'm not bad. I'm just drawn that way.

Yeah, well, wait 'til I draw your suicide note in your own blood, you bunny fuckin' bitch. I'm comin' over and I'm gonna kill you. I'm gonna kill your whole motherfuckin' family! (returns to playing the game) Alright, well now I got that out of my system, let's continue with the game.

All right, the game sucks, end of story; I wanna nail Roger Rabbit to the fuckin' cross.

You may even think I'm tryin' to compare it to the sequels, which are far superior. Two-player, arcade action, beat up a bunch of Foot Soldiers. Good stuff. But, this first one is garbage

April O'Neil says: "You have my support." Okay. What the hell did she ever do for you? Stupid banana raincoat wearin' bitch.

(in the sewers level, as an enemy causes the on-screen turtle to fall in rushing water) Ughhh, you son of a fuck! And you know what pisses me off? They're turtles, for fuck's sakes! They can't even swim?

Aw, you fuckrat! This is just a bunch of cockadookie, this is bullfuck.

Cowabunga... Cow-a-FUCKIN' PIECE OF DOGSHIT! This game is diarrhea comin' outta my dick! This game is as appealing as a fuckin' ooze-infested dirty fuckin' sewer rat shit! I've had more fun playing with dog turds! Shredder's my ass and Splinter's my balls! This game is an inside-out asshole regurgitating putrid anal fecal matter! I'd rather fuckin' yank all the hairs out of my scrotum! I'd rather drink diarrhea vomited out of a buffalo's anus! It suckin' fucks, it fuckin' sucks, IT FUCKIN' BLOWS, IT'S A PIECEASHIT... and I don't like it.

(on the repetitive music) I'd rather have a fucking buffalo take a diarrhea dump in my ear than subject them to this horrendous garbage.

(on the nonsensical in-game representation of Hill Valley and all the obstacles Marty McFly must deal with) What happened here? Is this Hill Valley or is it Hell?

No, it's Hill Valley, although I can't imagine Hell being much worse!

Like, if I just shat into a bag, and wrote "Back to the Future" on it, that would be the same as this awful piece of fuck. It brings my piss to a boil. What a piece of shit! I'll never play it again, either. It's my last time. (scoffs) I'd rather eat out the rotten asshole of a roadkill skunk than play this game, ever again. And I'm dead serious, too. And do you know what's worse? You know what's - what's really worse? Guess what? There's a sequel!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

playing Back to the Future II & III Yes, it's true. Back to the Future II & III. Two shitty games for the price of one. Let's check it out.

So there's Ronald with his magic bag... bag of hallucinogenic drugs. I always thought that clown was one scary motherfucker.

Then you go to Grimace's board. Here's Grimace, the big purple fuck. Look at his house! It looks like Barney the Dinosaur's testicle.

It never ends with this game; it’s just like an infinite turd coming out of my ass.

(Explaining a 1-Up gathering trick) So if you have an hour to waste, then, there you go. Have fun. You're completely wasting your time, anyway, if playing this game, as I am. Let alone make a fucking video about it. Some people like to call 1-ups "extra guys" or "free mans". I like to call 'em life insurance.

(At the end of the review) Toasty!