And so in '95, Acclaim performed an exorcism on the LJN name, and so it was gone for five years, like a demon seeking a new host. It found another console to invade, the Dreamcast, and thus emerged the final appearance of the unholy sign, the old rainbow in the dark. Look at that logo in full Dreamcast glory. You know, I'm gonna miss reviewing LJN games. No, I'm not. The game is Spirit of Speed, a racing game which takes place in 1937, so I guess maybe if you're really into classic cars of that time period, it might sort of be appealing. But jeez, give me Mario Kart or F-Zero any day, even as far as realistic racing games go, this is more like early Playstation and N64 than Dreamcast, Spirit of Speed my ass, more like Spirit of Slow. The cars handle like you're dragging 20 tons of bowling balls of donkey dung. You like trudging through farmland as dull green and gray wash over your senses, and 10 laps, what are you kidding me? This is something you play if you want to go to sleep. There's almost nothing to say about it. I can't work with this! But you know what? I just completed the LJN library.
(The scene fades up to the Nerd who looks at the LJN logo in the sky at sunset as the logo fades away and the Nerd gives the LJN logo the middle finger salute.)
Farewell, you fuck.
(The Nerd walks back to Commodore 64 and he pushes the space button.)
All right, Sam. Let's see the game.
Well, we did our best, so, this is the final product. We cut some corners, but I think...
Just show me the damn game!
All right, all right, all right. Here it is, here it is.
(The Nerd plays the final product version as he gasps in shock and shudders in horror and sees the gameplay and then he screams and goes to the Rampage arcade machine.)
(pants) I'm a shitload of fuck! I'm a shitload of FUCK!!!!!!!!!!
(The Nerd cries as the Angry Angry Video Game Nerd Nerd appears on the reflection of the Rampage arcade cabinet.)
Nerd!
Ah! (gasps)
You've made the worst game ever made! You've become the very thing you were fighting against!
No! (cries in despair)
(plays the remake of Back to the Future) I should be reviewing your game, Nerd!
NO!!!!!!
I'm the Angry Angry Video Game Nerd Nerd!
No! No!
What was he thinking? What a shitload of fuck! Buffalo diarrhea bull fuck that is! It sucks, it blows, and it's a whole shit!
(while he slides on the LJN rainbow) NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
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