Frank and Colin in “Unfinished Business”

Col, I’ve gotta be honest with you.

What?

I’m a little bit uncomfortable about how much swearing there has been on the show.

What?

In the show, there’s been too much swearing.

We’re on an island. We’re dying alright?

Yes but there, you know, we’re a very visual act. And so often, you know, sometimes kids come.

What?

There might be kids here and you know what? We’re not setting a very good example with all the language. I don’t feel like, are there any kids here tonight? Any kids at all? Here you are. What about this little, what’s your name mate? James. How old are you James? James is nine. He’s nine. You’re a role model for him.

If I’m his role model, he should get out more. I swear. There’s plenty of other role models okay?

James, I just wanna make it very clear to you okay? That um, even though we’re swearing in our show, a little bit, we’re certainly not encouraging you to ever use the word fuck.

What are you doing?

I need to make this clear. Don’t ever say fuck James. Don’t say fuck.

What?

If you said fuck James, that would be very bad. But we can say fuck because we’re in a show. In shows you can say fuck. Once, James, once we were in this show called the chickens. And it went for eight months. It was like a festival show. And it went for eight months and in the whole show all we ever did was go ‘fuck, fuck, fuck,’ it was a great show! But it was a show. Can you see the difference? You know, in a show you can say fuck, but you should never. Like for example, if your mum ever says to you ‘come on James it’s time for bed.’ Don’t turn around and go ‘that’s fuck.’ Don’t. Because if you, if you said that James, if you said that, do you know what that would be? That would be fuck. And I can say that 'cause I’m in a show. And I’m sure your father agrees with me, at least I certainly hope he does because he’s, he’s quite a large muscular man!