Colin quotes from The Adventures of Lano and Woodley

Colin

Everyone else can die, but you cannot - WHY?

Colin

She was so beautiful. She had eyes.........which was good, because the last girl I liked just had skin from the eyebrows down.

Colin

You stole my imaginary girlfriend!

Colin

I’m warning you! I know jujitsu! And tae kwon do. And various other oriental... words.

Colin

Oooh... it is the emperor of bellywhackas!

Colin

Oooooooh! It is the lord, the messiah of all bellywhackas!

Colin

She may not have been my flesh and blood, but she was still my mum. She was there when I learnt how to walk, she was there when I learnt how to ride a bike... and when I got bullied at school by a kid who stole my lunch money and gave me a wedgie by pulling my undies up my bum, it was her who advised me to give up teaching.

Colin

Get rid of the ploppy pants!

Colin

Captain Fargas! Captain Fargas! What the Fargas is going on?

Colin

Gee, nightfall comes quickly on this island. Must be something to do with no daylight savings in Brisbane.

Colin

I did eat him, but I didn't kill him. He was already dead when I ate him. And I ate everything there was of him. His arms, his legs, his head, his little ball bag. I ate everything, Your Honour. And it wasn’t that tasty.

Colin

The relevant thing here is that I ate Frank, but I didn't kill him. And may I say when I did eat him I had the worst diarrhoea I’ve ever had in my life. Which proves once and for all that Frank really did give me the shits!

Colin

Out of all the audiences we’ve played to, you’d easily have to be… one of them.

Colin

I get sucked into the dickhead vortex.

Colin

Don’t you ever suck me again!