Frank quotes from The Adventures of Lano and Woodley

Frank

Come on, Col, you’re making a mountain out of a... very big hill.

Frank

I was sure that was you. [pause] Did we ever free a whale?

Frank

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will only cause permanent psychological damage!

Frank

[Holy music is playing.] It was the most beautiful voice I’ve ever heard. It was God’s voice. And God said... [The music stops.] ‘Frank. Frank, go back. You’re just winded, you’re getting completely carried away, now go back.’

Frank

I've got beard fear!

Frank

I can feel it in my bodice!

Frank

You know, that's typical of you. Every single time we get into an argument, you always get so hung up on... the truth.

Frank

Oh, what is that? It's a peanut. Awwwwwwww, I hate it when there's food in my sand!

Frank

Hi guy, try Thai high pie, bye!

Frank

He said, you sprinkle it on your shoulders and on your head, and the birds, they come and eat. And I, you know, I thought that sounded really sweet. So he sprinkled the bird seed on me, and the birds came. THEY WERE EMUS!!!

Frank

I’m a no bum talent, and you’re a no talent bum.

Frank

He turned my nanna into a scoopy bum!

Colin

Ba-da!!

Frank

Why are you taking an oar?

Colin

In case we hire a canoe.

Frank

Yeah, but the canoes come with oars.

Colin

I want to use my oar.

Frank

But why?

Colin

My great great great grandfather gave this to me. It's one of my most prized possessions.

Frank

Yeah?

Colin

Yeah, he gave it to me just a few years back.

Frank

But how could your great great great grandfather have given it to you? He must have died about a hundred years ago!

Colin

He just... ohh, sorry. He's not my grandfather's father's father's father, he's just my normal grandfather. But he's a really great, great, great grandfather. He's really great! I love him!

Colin

Remind the neighbours to feed the cat... yep.

Frank

Col, we haven’t got a cat.

Colin

But their cat’s looking really skinny.

Colin

Frank, what’s wrong?

Frank

[Lying to Col about why he’s upset.] Grandad’s dead.

Colin

[Sits down.] Frank, didn’t your grandad die five years ago?

Colin

I think it’s time you got over it.

Colin

Remember? We were sitting at home, and you had to go down to the shops, and I got the phone call saying that he died, and when you got back from the shops I told... [realizes what he said] Ooooh. [cheerfully] Your grandad’s dead, Frank!