Tales from the Crypt · Season 1
That's the way she used to look... she used to be so beautiful... now I need other women's beauty just to keep her that way... small price to pay, I think...
Look, I don't know what kinda crazy voodoo shit you're into, and I don't really care! But, but, but, we had a deal, man! Look! All that's worth more than a hundred thousand dollars! Now I want it back! Give it back to me! I want my beauty back!
Peggy, you'll live to regret this day.
Please don't spoil my happiness, Aunt Edith.
Peggy, I'm only thinking of your happiness. You'll live to regret this day, too.
Why would I ever regret marrying the woman I love?
You don't love her. You love the fortune that her mother left her. And you love her stocks and bonds and her real estate and that big house.
And you don't love any of that? Give me a break, Aunt Edith.
Are you in bed yet?
Yes, I'm in bed, honey.
You know, I'd do anything for you.
And I'd do anything for you, too. And your bank account.
She never loved me, either. Why did she marry me? It doesn't matter. What matters is, the marriage certificate is real. She is mine. And every goddamn penny she's got in the world is mine, too.
What were you dreaming about?
It was about your parents. I dreamt that your mother killed your father on their wedding night.
That's weird. That's exactly what happened on the night I was conceived.
What?
And I want what my mother had. A perfect honeymoon. A perfect love that I can make sure that time does not spoil.
How was your wedding night?
It was wonderful. I'm going to have a baby girl.
Really?
Yes and she's only this big.
That's lovely, dear.
You'll love her, won't you?
Well, of course I will. Just as I loved your mother, as I love you. Only no more men, understand?
I promise. Besides, I don't need one anymore, now that I have my little girl. But she's gonna need one, someday.
Of course she will, dear. Of course she will.
Forty-seven years, Suntime hand tools six days a week, 52 weeks a year. Look at that thing. Some thanks. Can't even tell time with it.
I think it's beautiful. You should be proud.
Proud? Sure, real proud. Proud to be put out to pasture. Day I hit 65, I'm out of there. Never mind I'm 17-year regional sales leader. Never mind, just throw the old duff away.
I'm sure they'll miss you. Anyway, you've done enough for them. This is your time now. So let's start right now.
My first free weekday since I was 17.
Why don't you just take the day and do nothing? Just relax. You could pass out in your chair with the TV on.
Damn it, I don't wanna watch TV. I'm a productive citizen. I got mandatory retirement. Mandatory.
But I thought you liked to pass out with the TV on.
I was working then. I had a right to pass out.
Are you running some kind of luxury resort for every flea-bitten parasite that trips across my doorstep? What's that dog eating? A steak?
These are my friends.
Must be costing a fortune. I can't believe I worked 47 years just to shell out for every mangy cat and dog that's hungry enough to be your friend just because you feed it!
They keep me company. They're all I've got.
Now what the hell is that supposed to mean? All right, so I've been a little busy the last 47 years. I just didn't have time to sit and gab with you night and day. I had a living to earn.
Listen, old buddy, I know how this must look. But for me these models It's not just about building planes. You want to slow up a bit. Let life pass you by a little.
When you start letting life pass you by that's the day you start to die. No, I don't need to slow down.
What do you think?
What is this? What's happening?
He's the prize of my collection. Part of my new hobby: Taxidermy.
You can't be serious. How could you do this?
I'm doing this for you. I'm making adjustments so we can share our common interests in our golden years. I mean, you love animals. Now I can learn to love them, too.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Tales from the Crypt pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
