Anita quotes from Tales from the Crypt

Jonas

Forty-seven years, Suntime hand tools six days a week, 52 weeks a year. Look at that thing. Some thanks. Can't even tell time with it.

Anita

I think it's beautiful. You should be proud.

Jonas

Proud? Sure, real proud. Proud to be put out to pasture. Day I hit 65, I'm out of there. Never mind I'm 17-year regional sales leader. Never mind, just throw the old duff away.

Anita

I'm sure they'll miss you. Anyway, you've done enough for them. This is your time now. So let's start right now.

Jonas

My first free weekday since I was 17.

Anita

Why don't you just take the day and do nothing? Just relax. You could pass out in your chair with the TV on.

Jonas

Damn it, I don't wanna watch TV. I'm a productive citizen. I got mandatory retirement. Mandatory.

Anita

But I thought you liked to pass out with the TV on.

Jonas

I was working then. I had a right to pass out.

Jonas

Are you running some kind of luxury resort for every flea-bitten parasite that trips across my doorstep? What's that dog eating? A steak?

Anita

These are my friends.

Jonas

Must be costing a fortune. I can't believe I worked 47 years just to shell out for every mangy cat and dog that's hungry enough to be your friend just because you feed it!

Anita

They keep me company. They're all I've got.

Jonas

Now what the hell is that supposed to mean? All right, so I've been a little busy the last 47 years. I just didn't have time to sit and gab with you night and day. I had a living to earn.

Jonas

What do you think?

Anita

What is this? What's happening?

Jonas

He's the prize of my collection. Part of my new hobby: Taxidermy.

Anita

You can't be serious. How could you do this?

Jonas

I'm doing this for you. I'm making adjustments so we can share our common interests in our golden years. I mean, you love animals. Now I can learn to love them, too.