Ulric quotes from Tales from the Crypt

Dr. Emil Manfred

It's a simple matter, really. Removing a gland from a common cat and surgically grafting it into your brain.

Ulric

Wait. Into my brain? So I can die nine times. Now you're making sense, Doc!

Ulric

You tried to kill me!

Dr. Emil Manfred

I didn't try to kill you, I did kill you. Deader than Kelsey's nuts. You can still die eight more times.

Ulric

All right, if that's true when do I get my money?

Dr. Emil Manfred

As I promised, right now. But before you stagger into the nearest bar to slurp down your money how would you like to make hundred times more? A thousand times?

Ulric

No!

Dr. Emil Manfred

Nothing, dear boy. I just thought perhaps your special talent could make us both lot of money. Enough to finance my years of my longevity research and enough, of course, to buy you an ocean of alcohol.

Dr. Emil Manfred

Think what a strange machine the human body is, Ulric.

Ulric

Yeah, how about that.

Dr. Emil Manfred

You can kill a man by destroying less than 1% of his body. He can be 99% healthy, and dead. Amazing, isn't it? Every human body is like a walking chemistry set. If anything happens to upset that delicate balance Death. That's why you're so amazing, Ulric. Because your body fixes itself. And it is going to make us both a lot of money.

Ulric

Doc, you're half right about that. See, it's going to make me a lot of money. See, I gotta breach that contract, Doc. You're about to die in a terrible car accident.

Dr. Emil Manfred

What are you talking about? That's murder.

Ulric

Yes, but who's gonna suspect me? I mean, after all, I'll die with you.