Vince Romano quotes from T. J. Hooker

Vince Romano

Hooker, what do you think, huh? If Stacy doesn't like this electric wok, she is gonna love this wrapping.

Vince Romano

Hooker, what the Colonel did for chicken, Romano will do for cookies.

Sgt. T.J. Hooker

You Catholic, Romano?

Vince Romano

Yes, sir.

Sgt. T.J. Hooker

Y'know what I missed at the Mass that they had for the kid? Latin. I'd like to hear Latin again instead of everything in English.

Vince Romano

[Wistfully] Yeah.

Sgt. T.J. Hooker

What about doctors who make house calls? Repairmen who know how to fix things? And ballplayers who hustle? And boxers who get carried out of the ring, instead of quitting because of stomach cramps? And what about the death penalty for scum who take a human life and snuff it out like it's so much garbage? I've seen the past, gentlemen, and it works.

Vince Romano

Look, I busted my back in pre-training. I thought I did better than any rooky in every class, every test, every drill! So why didn't I get a partner?

Sgt. T.J. Hooker

Romano, you got a partner! You lucked out: you got me!

Sgt. T.J. Hooker

I was never what you'd call political, but when I was a rookie like you the vets used to call me the "flaming liberal." Now I'm not sure what I am.

Vince Romano

Conservative?

Sgt. T.J. Hooker

Close enough. You know the definition of a conservative? A liberal who got mugged. [laughter]

So how does it feel to ride with Hooker, Romano?

Vince Romano

What can I say? John Wayne lives!

Amen to that.

Vince Romano

[Hooker walks towards the car with a cup of coffee] You know what that poison is doing to your system? It's gonna kill you.

Sgt. T.J. Hooker

Romano, Grandpa Hooker downed a gallon of coffee a day and made it to 94.

Vince Romano

[Pouring a concoction into a cup] Try this. All I'm asking is try it. It's delicious! Just a little raw eggs, Romanian yogurt, crushed papaya, lecithin, mango juice. Secret of my success... and my virility.

Sgt. T.J. Hooker

Romano, when Grandpa did go, at 94, twelve women wept at his grave, not including Grandma.

Hey man, this whole thing is a bunch of bullwash!

Vince Romano

Attempting to provoke an officer with abusive language!

Vince Romano

Did I tell you detective is where it's at? We could've been burned to a crisp with those clowns.

Sgt. T.J. Hooker

You haven't even worn out your first pair of blue socks yet. Would you stop with the Dick Tracy dialogue already?

Sgt. T.J. Hooker

Now let's talk about something else that's important, Gino. I mean your scungilli and your calamari and you're zuppa di pesche.

Vince Romano

[lights up] Hey hey, now you are talking, Hooker!

Sgt. T.J. Hooker

I want an order of each and anything else that you think might make a really special lunch for two.

Vince Romano

All right!

Sgt. T.J. Hooker

And eh, you better order what you're having for lunch, Romano, because you're not the one I'm eating with.

Vince Romano

Another car trashed. We're really going to be in trouble with Sheridan on this one.

Sgt. T.J. Hooker

What's this 'we' business? You were driving, I wasn't driving, you were driving.

Vince Romano

It's always 'we' when you're the driver.

Vince Romano

If you were a man... [holds up his fist]

Stacy Sheridan

[puts her hand on his fist] Oh, but I'm not, Vince, I'm all woman, part cop and a better driver than the Philly Flash.

Vince Romano

Well, you got the woman part right, kiddo.

Ah, my good friends the police. I take care of all their cars. Excuse me, lady.

Sgt. T.J. Hooker

[Hooker exits his car, swinging his baton] Hello Axel, nice to see you.

What do you want, Hooker? Get lost, you're bad for business.

Sgt. T.J. Hooker

Good business requires referrals. Get many?

Oh come on, fade away, will you, Hooker? I'm gonna sic my lawyers on you fast.

Vince Romano

This man has a bad attitude problem, Sgt. Hooker.

Hey, you take a flying leap too, son!

[in the locker room, changing] Hey, it could have been you killed out there, just as easy as Martinez, remember?

Vince Romano

Yeah, well, some of the veterans around here are acting like they wish it had been me.

Well, I heard a lot of them say you screwed up.

Vince Romano

[upset] Screwed up? How?

[entering the room with two other officers] You could have wasted that dirtbag, Romano, and you didn't.

Vince Romano

He's a juvenile, Benteen.

He is a [claps hands twice] COP KILLER!

Vince Romano

I didn't have to shoot!

He's had 18 priors, not a day spent in juvenile hall, a hophead supporting his habit by preying on old people. Now, he's a cop killer.

Sgt. T.J. Hooker

[standing at the door] I just talked to the shooting team. Martinez's piece was empty when the creep tried to kill Romano and Romano knew it.

[to Romano] Empty?

Vince Romano

I counted. He'd fired six times.

There's not a living soul to ask if you would count it with nobody to ever know the difference. You could have blown that cop-killing punk away! All right, hey, okay, look, Lily Blossom, you're never going to make it through probation and you better hope you never find yourself in a spot where you're going to need the help of a real cop.

Sgt. T.J. Hooker

[angrily pulls Benteen around] Hey! That's the wrong kind of talk around here, Benteen. I suggest you shut your loud mouth and cool off because if I hear it again, I'll put you through the wall.

I owe you, Hooker. [points his thumb at Romano] Not him.

Sgt. T.J. Hooker

You owe me nothing. I did my job out there. Romano did his. Right now, you're on the edge of not doing yours. Don't you EVER threaten not to back a fellow officer.

Sgt. T.J. Hooker

[to the other officers] Anybody else got anything to say? [to Romano, as the other officers leave] You didn't tell me you knew the gun was empty.

Vince Romano

[upset] Does it make a difference to you that it wasn't?

Sgt. T.J. Hooker

You did what the book says.

Vince Romano

Look, thanks for what you said to Benteen, but I asked you a question. I've got to know! Is there a difference between what we're taught and what goes down on the street? Under the same circumstances, the same dope-headed, cop-killing, dirt-bag punk with an empty gun, would you have wasted him?

Vince Romano

[after Minetti is released] I don't understand. Something's wrong, Hooker. I did my job. He killed a man! I brought him to trial. He's guilty. And he's strutting out of here like a peacock, putting dirt on everything that's good and decent. Where's the incentive to do it right the next time if this lousy system doesn't work?

Sgt. T.J. Hooker

The incentive is in knowing how much worse it would be if we didn't do it right. You don't like what happened in there, I don't like it, the people don't like it. It's up to the people to change it.