Boston, Massachusetts, the home of the Boston Tea Party, where, at one time, a group of patriots banded together to spark a revolution. But looking around at this motley crew assembled here tonight, I can clearly see that there are no revolutionaries amongst us. But if the Boston Tea Party were held today, none of you would know it, because you don't pay attention. None of you would know anything about Paul Revere or Nathan Hale because you're too busy doing other things, stupid things like twerking.
Twerking?
[Zeb demonstrates, but almost throws out his back to the laughter of the commentators and the crowd]
Oh, he threw his back out.
Oh, you think that's funny? You're doing stupid things like talking on your cell phones or Tweeting to some idiot halfway across the country, or cheering some foreign guy by the name of David Ortiz! Disgusting! You should be cheering real Americans like Jack Swagger...
Enough, enough, Zeb! None of these people here paid to listen to you talk!
I did.
You paid?
And none of these people wanna see you twerk.
I do.
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