I… I… I haven’t told any of you this because… Because I… I don’t… I don’t want you to see me differently. But the truth is… The… The truth is I am. I am different. I just… I just pretended like I wasn’t because… because I didn’t want to be. I wanted to be like everyone else. I wanted to be like my friends and… And I am like you. I’m like you in… in almost every way. We… We like playing D&D late into the night. And we like that old-person smell in Mike’s basement. And we… we like biking to Melvald’s for malted milkshakes. And we like getting lost in the woods, and getting lost in Family Video and arguing about what to rent and settling on Holy Grail for the millionth time. And… And we like Milk Duds in our popcorn with extra butter. And we like drinking Coke with Pop Rocks. And we like bike races and trading comics and NASA and Steve Martin and Lucky Charms and… Literally all the same things. I just… I just… I… I just… I… I… I… I don’t like girls. I mean… I mean I do. Just… Just not like you guys do. And I, uh, I had this… this crush on someone, even though I know… I know they’re not like me. But… But then I realized he’s just my Tammy. And by Tammy, I mean it was never about him. It was… It was about me. And I thought I was finally okay with myself, but… but then today… Today Vecna showed me what would happen if I did this, if I told you guys the truth. He showed me a future, and in this future, some of you are just… are just worried for me. Worried that things will be harder for me. And it just makes me feel like something’s wrong with me. So I… So I push you away. And for the rest of us, we just drift apart more and more and more and more and more until I’m alone. And I know none of that has happened, and Vecna can’t see into the future. But he can see into our minds, and he knows things. And it just felt so real. It felt so real.
Okay. [lets go of hug] El. I know you’re strong enough to defeat Vecna. But he can retreat to the physical world, and we need to be ready to fight him there too. We have bullets and fire, but none of that helped those soldiers. I need to be there. And I’m ready. I’m ready to show him I’m not afraid anymore.
You will, you will. But not like this. Not with more violence. Not with more pain. There's already been so much pain. From the moment you were born. Your mother was taken from you. Your childhood was taken from you. You've been attacked. Manipulated by terrible people. Life has been so unfair to you, so cruel. But you never let it break you. And I need you to fight, kid. I need you to fight just one last time. Fight for the days on the other side of this. Fight for... for a world beyond Hawkins. Fight for that day that you have a kid of your own, and you give her the life that you never had. For the day you get so angry because she invites some boy over, and she won't keep the door open three inches. I know. I know you don't believe you can have any of this. But I promise you we will find a way to make it real. You will find a way to make it real. Because you have to. Because you deserve it.
It has never controlled me. And I never controlled it. Don’t you see, William? I could have resisted it. But I chose to join it. It needs... me. And I need it. We... are... one.
I just wanted a normal childhood. But that childhood was stolen from me. It was stolen from us. And this past year, if you wanna know the truth, I've been pretty pissed off about it.
But then I thought back to the past six years, and I realized that, even though there was a lot of bad, there was so much good too. There's this game I like to play. It's called Dungeons & Dragons.
And in this game, there are two types of chaos classes, chaotic good and chaotic bad. Now, bad chaos brings anarchy, destruction, war. But good chaos can bring innovation, change. And this school... frankly, it needed to change. Because we were so divided into the jocks, the nerds, freaks. And in the chaos, all those walls broke down, and I made new friends. I made friends who were never even supposed to be my friends. And this wasn't just me; I saw this happen with so many others. When you get to know people who are different from you, you begin to learn more about yourself. You change. You grow. I'm a better person now. I'm a better person because of them. Because of my friends. So, I'm not pissed off anymore. But I am worried. Worried, because now that the chaos is over, Principal Higgins and every square like him is gonna do their damnedest to put everything back in order, and I don't want order. Which is why it's hypocritical that I'm wearing this thing. I mean, we look ridiculous. What is this? We look like Roman senators. I mean, it's not who I am. I don't think it's who any of us are. So, honestly, just screw it.
