Charlie and Col. O'Neill in “Unfinished Business”

Mother says the boys of your culture don't cry.

Not true! In fact there's an official list of reasons for which crying is a good thing.

Mother is leaving.

See, that's a good reason. "Mom Leaving" is, I believe, number six on the list of good reasons. Actually, six is "Mom Says She's Leaving in a Couple of Days." Five is "Mom Leaving Immediately." Four, of course, is "Mom Already Left." Three—now, three is huge, one of the biggest ones on the list—