Data quotes from Star Trek: The Next Generation

Mr. Data, if we left immediately, when would we arrive at Outpost 23?

At Warp One, three days, four hours--

What about at Warp Seven? At Warp Eight? At Warp Nine? What's the matter, Data, what happened to those millions of calculations per-second?

Pardon me, sir. I am experiencing subspace interference which limits my abilities. I can't operate as quickly as--

What did you say?

I said, I cannot oper--

No! That's not what you said, you said "I can't". You used a contraction, didn't you?

Sir, I can explain if you would just give me a moment--

No you can't, don't even try!

Captain. Perhaps it would be best if we discussed this in si--

Shut up!

I beg your pardon?!

I said shut up! As in close your mouth and stop talking!

Data

A resumption of our present course at warp six will place us in the T'lli Beta system in six days, thirteen hours, forty-seven minutes.

William Riker

What, no seconds?

Data

I have discovered, sir, a certain level of impatience when I calculate a lengthy time interval to the nearest second. However, if you wish...

William Riker

No, no. Minutes is fine.

Beverly Crusher

They don't do a lot of tap-dancing at weddings.

Data

Why?

Beverly Crusher

Well, Data, because...I don't really know why, Data.

Data

Sir. Is the appellation “Junior” to be the lifeform's official name?

Picard

No, it is not!

Data

Computer, current location of Lt. Commander La Forge.

Cargo Bay 4.

Data

Data to Lt. Worf. Priority 1.

Worf

Go ahead.

Data

Take Commander La Forge into custody immediately.

Worf

Sir?

Data

That is an order.

Picard

Mr. Worf, get him out of here.

Harming our enemies is not enough! Now the Federation would murder me to achieve its aims!

Picard

Governor, if I could explain this, I would.

Data

I believe I can help, Captain. I've been able to determine that Commander La Forge was abducted by Romulans en route to Rissa. It is likely that he was somehow forced to take part in the plot to assassinate Governor Vagh.

I saw no evidence of Romulans! We just witnessed him acting very much alone.

Data

No, sir. You did not. I do not believe the Commander is acting out of his own accord. He has been receiving heat band signals through his VISOR, signals which are carrying direct commands to his brain. I have surmised that Commander La Forge was conditioned by Romulans, a process referred to historically, and somewhat inaccurately, as "brainwashing."

But to what end? Why would the Romulans want to kill me?

Picard

The Romulans have always wanted to destroy the alliance between the Federation and the Klingons. If Mr. La Forge had killed you, Governor, I think you will agree that they might have succeeded.

Who sent these signals? A cloaked Romulan ship?

Data

No, sir. That is not possible. The signals had to be transmitted within close proximity to the VISOR.

Picard

Are you suggesting that there was a Romulan accomplice who was in close proximity to Mr. La Forge when he was receiving signals?

Data

Yes, sir. I am.

This Romulan accomplice. Who is he?

Data

I have narrowed the list of possibilities to two people. The only two people who were with Mr. La Forge all three times when the transmission was recorded: Captain Picard and Ambassador Kell. One of them may be concealing a heat band transmitter. If they would agree to be searched...

I am a Klingon! An Emissary of the High Council! I will not submit to being forced to be searched by you or anyone else o on this ship!

I am forced to agree, Captain. We will take the ambassador with us and search him ourselves.

Jenna D'Sora

I wish we were back there now, you and I.

Data

The unidirectional nature of the time continuum makes that an unlikely possibility.

Deanna Troi

Ultimately Jenna will care for you for who you are, not what you imitate out of a book.

Data

My programming may be inadequate to the task.

Data

Computer, decrease illumination level by 1/3 standard lux.

Jenna D'Sora

Eh, this is all part of a programme?

Data

Yes, one which I have just created for romantic relationships

Jenna D'Sora

So, I am just a small variable in one of you computational environments.

Data

You are much more than that, Jenna. I have written a subroutine specifically for you. A programme within the programme. I have devoted a considerable share of my internal resources to its development.

Jenna D'Sora

Data, that's the nicest thing anybody has ever said to me.

Data

Jenna, are we no longer a couple?

Jenna D'Sora

No, we're not.

Data

Then I will delete the appropriate program.

Data

These quarters were obviously intended for one crewman, sir. There is only one sleeping space.

Jean-Luc Picard

I'm sure the Klingons found it amusing to put us in here together.

Data

Since I do not require sleep, I propose you take the... shelf, sir. I am content to stand.

Spock

Fascinating. You have an efficient intellect, superior physical skills, no emotional impediments. There are Vulcans who aspire all their lives to achieve what you've been given by design.

Data

You are half human?

Spock

Yes.

Data

Yet you have chosen a Vulcan way of life?

Spock

I have.

Data

In effect, you have abandoned what I have sought all my life.

Data

Ambassador Spock, may I ask a personal question?

Spock

Please.

Data

As you examine your life, do you find you have missed your humanity?

Spock

I have no regrets.

Data

"No regrets". That is a human expression.

Spock

Yes. Fascinating.

Data

I have often wished to be human. I study people carefully, in order to more closely approximate human behavior.

Why? We're smarter and stronger than humans, we can do more than they can.

Data

But I cannot take pride in my abilities. I cannot take pleasure in my accomplishments.

We never have to feel bad, either.

Data

I would gladly risk feeling bad at times, if it also meant that I could taste my dessert.

Deanna Troi

The bartender is an artificial lifeform.

Data

Can I get you something? A beverage?