Scotty quotes from Star Trek: The Next Generation

Scotty

Laddie, I was drinking Scotch a hundred years before you were born. And I can tell you that whatever this is, it is definitely not scotch!

Scotty

[pours a drink and gives a toast] Here's to ya, lads.

Scotty

Good lord man, where have you put me?

These are standard guest quarters, sir. I can try and find something bigger if you want.

Scotty

Bigger? n my day, even an Admiral wouldn't have had such quarters on a starship!

Scotty

You mind a little advice? Starfleet captains are like children. They want everything right now and they want it their way. But the secret is to give them only what they need, not what they want.

La Forge

Yeah, well I told the captain I would have this analysis done in an hour.

Scotty

How long will it really take?

La Forge

An hour!

Scotty

Oh, you didn't tell him how long it would really take, did you?

La Forge

Well, of course I did.

Scotty

Oh, laddie, you have a lot to learn if you want people to think of you as a miracle worker!

Scotty

You're not quite uh... human, are ya?

Data

No, sir; I am an android. Lieutenant Commander Data.

Scotty

Synthetic scotch, synthetic commanders...

Data

I believe Guinan does keep a limited supply of non-synthaholic products. Perhaps one of them would be to your liking.

Scotty

[inspecting his drink] What is it?

Data

It is... [sniffs the bottle] It is... [sniffs the bottle again, looking puzzled] ...It is green.

Please enter program.

Scotty

The android at the bar said you could show me my old ship. Let me see it.

Insufficient data. Please specify parameters.

Scotty

The Enterprise, show me the bridge of the Enterprise, ya chattering piece of...!

There have been five Federation ships with that name. Please specify by registry number.

Scotty

NCC-1701. No bloody A, B, C, or D.

Program complete. Enter when ready.

Picard

Constitution class.

Scotty

Aye! You're familiar with them?

Picard

There's one in the fleet museum. But... But then, of course... This is your Enterprise.

Scotty

I actually served on two, but this was the first. She was also the first ship I ever served on as Chief Engineer. Ya know, I served aboard eleven ships -- freighters, cruisers, starships -- but this is the only one I think of. The only one I miss.

Picard

The first vessel that I served on as Captain was called the Stargazer. It was an overworked, underpowered vessel, always on the verge of flying apart at the seams... In every measurable sense, my Enterprise is far superior. But there are times when I would give almost anything to command the Stargazer again.

Scotty

Ah, it's like the first time ya fall in love; you don't ever love a woman quite like that again. Well... To the Enterprise and the Stargazer! Old girlfriends we'll never meet again.

Picard

What do you think of the Enterprise D?

Scotty

She's a beauty with a good crew.

Picard

But...?

Scotty

But... When I was here, I could tell ya the speed that we were traveling by the feel of the deck plates. But on your ship, I feel like I'm just in the way.

Picard

Well, 75 years is a long time. If you would like to study some technical schematics or--

Scotty

I'm not 18, and I can't start out like a raw cadet! No, there comes a time when a man finds that he can't fall in love again. He knows that it's time to stop. I don't belong on your ship. I belong on this one. This is my home. This is where I had a purpose. But it's not real! It's just a computer-generated fantasy! And I'm just an old man who's trying to hide in it. Computer -- shut this bloody thing off. It's time I acted my age.

Scotty

Shunt the deuterium from the main cryo-pump to the auxiliary tank.

La Forge

The tank can't withstand that kind of pressure.

Scotty

Where'd you get that idea?

La Forge

What do you mean, where did I get that idea? It's in the impulse engine specifications.

Scotty

Regulation forty-two-slash-fifteen, pressure variances on IRC tank storage?

La Forge

Yeah.

Scotty

Forget it. I wrote it. A good engineer is always a wee bit conservative, at least on paper. Just bypass the secondary cut-off valve and boost the flow. It'll work.