SpongeBob, what have you done with my clarinet?
Ooh, Squidward, you're so hard-boiled. Are you playing a game? Oh, oh, can I play?
I know you stole my clarinet! [slapping SpongeBob] Tell me where it is!?
[slapping himself] I don't know! [giggles] It couldn't have been me, Squidward. I have an alibi. I was at Grandma's house all day and I have the kissy marks to prove it. [points to the kissy marks on his head] See? There's room for one more.
[Squidward is grossed out and pushes SpongeBob away]
[narrating] His alibi was solid. Only a family member could stomach putting their lips on this fool.
You know, we have lots of friends. Maybe they could help us find your clarinet.
I don't have friends. I have suspects.
Oh, Squidward, don't you know a suspect is just a friend you haven't cleared of charges yet? [gets pushes down by Squidward] So... can I help you solve your case? Please, please, please?
Try not to get in the way.
Yeah! It's a play-date! I mean... [changes into his detective clothes] All right, I'll partner up with you this time. [flips a coin and it disappears] Huh?
More SpongeBob SquarePants quotes · These quotes come from Wikiquote's SpongeBob SquarePants pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.