Randy and Officer in “Bloody Mary”

[drunk off his ass and having caught the attention of police by illegally swerving as he peed into a beer bottle, then flipping off the police car] Everybody just stay calm. I can handle this, no problem. I know how to deal. [starts chewing stick of gum]

License and registration, please.

[with a completely straight face] ...What seems to be the officer, problem?

...Step out of the car, please.