Sometimes, I wonder who mailed the first letter. Who was that brave soul who put a stamp on an envelope and released it into the world, trusting a stranger to deliver it across the miles and across time?
Characters
Oliver O'TooleEric Mabius · 18 quotes
Shane McInerneyKristin Booth · 13 quotes
Norman DormanGeoff Gustafson · 6 quotes
Rita HaywithCrystal Lowe · 5 quotes
Most scenes together: Oliver O'Toole & Shane McInerney (12), Oliver O'Toole & Norman Dorman (3), Norman Dorman & Rita Haywith (3)
Signed, Sealed, Delivered (pilot film)
[as Oliver arrives at the Denver Main Branch Post Office]
There it is. A beacon of hope to those who still put their faith in the power of a piece of paper and a 46-cent stamp. And behind every letter stand thousands of dedicated heroes who still fight the good fight through rain and snow and fiscal cliffs to deliver every note, every card, every letter. ...And I am one of them. The few... the proud... the postal. I work for you, whoever you are, or whoever you were.
I went on a pilgrimage to the National Postal Museum two years ago. It was glorious.
I can't say that I ever went.
I got lost in it.
Did you go alone?
No. Well, sort of. I, uh, I took my wife, a lovely person whose interests extended far beyond the written word to, shall we say, the somewhat decadent. We were standing in front of the Pony Express exhibit. I turned around; she wasn't there anymore. I looked everywhere for her. I finally gave up. I went back to the Holiday Inn Express and, um, waited for her. She never came. I was just about to call the police when I noticed that little red light blinking on the phone. She left this message: she said that she was tired of being married to a government official, and she figured, since she was in Washington, DC, it was the closest she had ever been to Paris, so she was getting on a plane and moving to France.
I'm so sorry, Oliver. Did she ever come back?
Not yet. The last thing she said on her message was, "I'll send you my forwarding address. Au revoir!" Actually, she pronounced it "or rev-or," but I assume her accent's much improved by now.
Don't you think you've waited for her long enough?
I believe in keeping promises. I am, after all, a gentleman.
That you are.
Time to Start Livin
"All's well that ends well," hmm?
No, no. You do not get to quote Shakespeare tonight. Shakespeare never had to thwart a drug cartel.
"Some are born great, some achieve greatness, some have greatness thrust upon 'em."
You're impossible.
Soulmates
[Oliver asks Shane to be his partner in his dance lessons]
Oliver, why don't you just ask one of your friends, or a neighbor, or one of the nice ladies at your church?
I don't want a nice lady, I want you— [awkwardly cuts himself off too late]
Oh. Hm.
What I mean is that you and I have danced before, and you are not entirely without grace.
[sarcastically] Oh, be still my heart.
I would very much appreciate it, Ms. McInerney.
Okay, Oliver. I will.
The Masterpiece
[reading from Rita Haywith's book, Renita Hayweather: Frontier Duchess] "As they floated over the Rockies, aloft in their hot air balloon, the Duchess whispered a great truth into Mr. D'Lorman's expectant ear: 'Life is for the taking if you only have the courage to listen to the bidding of your heart. Unless your heart is messing with you, in which case you really can't trust your heart at all.'"
The Edge of Forever
[after Shane has just informed Oliver that his estranged wife signed a three-year lease in Paris]
How dare you? How dare you invade my privacy? And my wife's? With that horrible machine and that insatiable curiosity of yours? I assume that's what you did: looked up my wife's comings and goings. Just because you have the means to do so, just because you can?!
Because I care, Oliver! I watch you check that stupid Paris box every single day, telling yourself that she must have sent a forwarding address, and convincing yourself that it just got lost in the mail, and, someday, it'll find its way back to the Dead Letter Office and—
So what?!
So what? So you can stop living in limbo and start living your life!
It's my life to live! Why couldn't you mind your own business? Just let... let...
...Nature take its course? I'm sorry, Oliver. I am truly sorry, but this bird has flown, my friend.
This is how friends behave?
I don't know. I don't know. I don't—I've never had a friend like you before.
Yes, well... you may presume too much.
[after a stunned pause] Maybe so.
The Future Me
[Rita delivers her speech at the Miss Special Delivery Pageant]
Some people think that the Post Office is a relic of the past, just waiting to be squashed like a bug by its new competition. But you know what? Bugs can surprise you. I think we can learn a lot from the South Pacific tree lobster. It's not beautiful, like a butterfly. It can't create whole societies like an ant, or spin webs and trap you like a spider. To tell you the truth, I don't know what it can do. But I know what it can't do. Its shell is so tough that it can't be squashed. Once you know how strong you are, that no matter how tough it gets, you can't be squashed, you stop worrying about all the things that you can't do, and you start dreaming of all the things that you can do.
Dark of Night
[Norman arrives at the ceremony at the Mailbox Grille, wearing a black suit and sunglasses]
Uh, barkeep? May I have an Arnold Palmer? Shaken, not stirred?
Norman, we were growing concerned.
Ah. Thank you.
I see you dressed for the occasion.
Ah, yes. I often dress... for occasions. Rita? May I buy you an Arnold Palmer?
Why, yes, please, with an umbrella, please.
The Treasure Box
[Oliver and Shane are trapped in the bank vault]
Ugh, I've got to do something to keep myself from going crazy. Let's play a game. Okay, I will say something and you say the first thing that comes into your head. Ready?
No.
Door.
Knob.
Window.
Washer.
Car.
...burator.
Ha! That's a Norman answer.
[chuckles] I know.
A Hope and a Future
It must be very exhausting, always trying to find ways to say "I love you" without actually saying "I love you."
Signed, Sealed, Delivered for Christmas
[as they make preparations for the Christmas pageant]
...And Shane, you will be over here above the stable.
I'm sorry, I'm what?
You're the angel.
No. No. No! I'm helping Jordan design set. I'm no angel.
A very provocative thought, Ms. McInerney.
JMJordan Marley
I notice that you call Rita "Rita," but you call Shane "Ms. McInerney?"
Yes, well, uh, it started as an office formality, but, uh, it just continued. Don't know exactly why I do that.
JJordan
I think you do. She's a very special lady.
[hesitantly] Yes, she is.
I will make my way home, or get a ride with someone, after I clean up. The bear may have to stay a day or two.
Just make sure he gets home before New Year's. He's a party animal.
That was a terrible joke.
[laughs] I know.
From Paris with Love
[Oliver and Shane discuss his marital difficulties]
There is so much I could have done and I didn't. And I don't know why.
Because it hurt. And it froze you up. You're like the snowman I saw in the park on my way in this morning. And he's just stuck there, left behind by someone who made him that way. All he can do is wait for the thaw before he can change.
But... then he melts.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Signed, Sealed, Delivered pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.