We've got a serial killer on our hands. Love those, there's always something to look forward to.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Did he offer you money to spy on me...?
Yes.
Did you take it?
...No?
Pity, we could've split the fee. Think it through next time.
You got all that because you realised the case would be pink?
Well, it had to be pink, obviously.
Why didn't I think of that?
Because you're an idiot. [John looks up, insulted.] No, no, no, don't be like that, practically everyone is.
[To retrieve the suitcase, Scotland Yard executes a pretend drugs bust on Sherlock's apartment]
We found the case! According to someone, "the murderer has the case". And we found it in the hands of our favourite psychopath!
[with contempt] I'm not a psychopath, Anderson, I'm a high-functioning sociopath. Do your research.
You can't just break into my flat!
And you can't withhold evidence! And I didn't break in to your flat.
Well what do you call this then?
It's a drugs bust!
Seriously. This guy, a junkie? Have you met him?
John.
I'm pretty sure you could search this flat all day and you wouldn't find anything that you could call recreational.
John, you might want to shut up now.
Yeah, but come on... no...
What?
...You?
Shut up. [To Lestrade] I'm not your sniffer dog.
No, Anderson's my sniffer dog.
What, A— [spots Anderson] Anderson? What are you doing here on a drugs bust?!
Oh I volunteered.
They all did. They're not strictly speaking on the drug squad, but they're very keen.
[Sgt Donovan comes out of the kitchen with a small clear glass jar with 3 or 4 eyes in it]
DDonovan
Are these human eyes?
Put those back!
DDonovan
They were in the microwave!
It's an experiment!
Shut up everybody, shut up! Don't move, don't speak, don't breathe, I'm trying to think. Anderson, face the other way, you're putting me off.
What, my face is?
Everybody, quiet and still. Anderson, turn your back.
Oh, for God's sake...
Your back! Now, please!
Anderson, don't talk out loud. You lower the IQ of the whole street.
But how...?
...What do you mean how?
[Lestrade shrugs]
Rachel! ...Don't you see? Rachel!
[Everyone stares blankly]
...Ha. Look at you lot. You're all so vacant. Is it nice not being me? It must be so relaxing.
Maybe it was in the case when you brought it back. And it fell out somewhere.
What? And I didn't notice it? Me?
Where are we?
You know exactly where we are, you know every street in London.
Roland-Kerr further education college. Why here?"
It's open, the cleaners are in. Thing about being a cabbie, you always know a quiet spot for a murder. I'm surprised more of us don't branch out.
And you just walk your victims in? How? [Taxi Driver pulls a gun on Sherlock] Oh, dull!
Bit of a risk, wasn't it? You took me away under the noses of about half a dozen policemen - they're not that stupid. And Mrs. Hudson will remember you.
Call that a risk? Nah. This is a risk.
[sets a pill bottle from his pocket on the table between them. Sherlock frowns at the bottle, not understanding]
Oh, I like this bit. 'Cos you don't get it yet, do you? But you're about to. I just have to do... this!
[a second identical bottle is put on the table between them. Sherlock stares at both bottles.]
Weren't expecting that, were you? Oh, you are gonna love this.
Love what?
Sherlock Holmes! Look at you. Here in the flesh. That website of yours! Your fan told me about it.
My fan?
You are brilliant, you are - you are a proper genius. "The Science of Deduction". Now that's proper thinking. Now between you and me, sitting here, why can't people think? Doesn't it drive you mad? Why can't people just think?
Oh, I see. So you're a proper genius too.
Don't look it, do I? Funny little man, driving a cab. But you'll know better in a minute. Chances are, it will be the last thing you ever know.
[Sherlock's gaze lowers to the bottles on the table]
Okay, two bottles. Explain.
There's a good bottle and there's a bad bottle. Take a pill from the good bottle, you live. Take a pill from the bad bottle, you die.
Both bottles are, of course, identical.
In every way.
And you know which is which.
Course I know.
But I don't.
Wouldn't be a game if you knew. You're the one who chooses.
Why should I? I've got nothing to go on. What's in it for me?
I haven't told you the best bit yet. Whatever bottle you choose, I take the pill from the other one. And then together, we take our medicine.
[Sherlock stares at him, surprised.]
I won't cheat. It's your choice. I'll take whichever pill you don't. Didn't expect that, did you, Mr Holmes?
This is what you did? To all of them? You gave them a choice?
And now I'm giving it to you. Take a moment. Get yourself together. I want your best game.
It's not a game - it's chance.
I've played four times. I'm alive. It's not chance, Mr. Holmes. It's chess. It's a game of chess, with one move, and one survivor. And this - [moves one of the bottles towards Sherlock] is the move. Did I just give you the good bottle, or the bad bottle? You can choose either one. You've got to admit - as serial killers go, I'm verging on nice.
Are you ready yet, Mr. Holmes? Ready to play.
Play what? It's a 50-50 chance.
You're not playing the numbers - you're playing me. Did I give you the good pill, or the bad pill. Is it a bluff, double-bluff, triple-bluff?
It's still chance.
Four people, in a row. It's not chance.
It's luck.
That's genius. I know how people think. I know how people think I think. I can see it all like a map inside my head. Everyone's so stupid. Even you. Of course - maybe God just loves me.
Either way, you're wasted as a cabbie.
You risked your life four times... just to kill strangers? Why?
Time to play.
I am playing. This is my go. There's shaving foam behind your left ear, and no one's around to point it to you. There are traces of where it's happened before, so clearly you live alone - there's no one to tell you. But you have photographs of children. The children's mother has been cut out of the photograph - if she'd died, she's still be there. The photograph is old , but the frame is new. You think of your children, but you don't get to see them. Estranged father. She took the kids, but you still love them, and it still hurts. Oh, but there's more! Your clothes are freshly laundered, but everything you're wearing is at least three years old. Keeping up appearances, but not planning ahead. And here you are, on a kamikaze murder spree, what's that about? Ah! Three years ago, is that when they told you?
Told me what?
That you're a dead man walking.
So are you.
You don't have long. Am I right?
[taps his head] Aneurism - right in here. Any breath could be my last.
And because you're dying, you've just murdered four people.
I've outlived four people. That's the most fun you can have with an aneurism.
No. No, there's something else. You haven't killed four people because you're bitter. Bitterness is a paralytic - love is a much more vicious motivator. Somehow, this is about your children.
Oh, you are good, aren't you?
But how?
When I die, they won't get much, my kids. Not a lot of money in driving cabs.
Or serial killing.
You'd be surprised.
Surprise me.
I have a sponsor.
You have a what?
For every life I take, money goes to my kids. The more I kill, the better off they'll be. You see? Nicer than you think.
Who would sponsor a serial killer?
Who would be a fan of Sherlock Holmes? You're not the only person who enjoys a good murder. There's someone else out there, just like you. Except you're just a man. And he's so much more.
Who? What do you mean, more? Who is he? Tell me.
There's a name that no one says. I'm not saying it either. Now. Enough chatter. It's time to choose.
[The cabbie has been shot by an unknown assailant and lays dying]
Was I right? I was, wasn't I? Did I get it right? (The cabbie is silent. Sherlock dashes the pill in frustration) OK then, tell me this - your sponsor. Who is it? The one who told you about me. I want a name.
No...
(places his foot on the cabbie's wound and presses down) There's still time to hurt you. Give me a name, now. A name. Now! Name him!
MORIARTY! (dies)
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Sherlock pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.