Sharpe quotes from Sharpe

Not being a little hard on Girdwood, are you?

At Foulness, sir, Colonel Girdwood gave orders that deserters were to be shot out of hand. I saw one killed. He hunted men through the marshland like they were rats. He wants to see a battle? He'll see a battle!

Uniform fits like a bowl of wax, but those boots won't do.

They did very well for a Colonel in Napoleon's Imperial Guard I had to kill before he'd give them to me!

They treat us like animals! We're not animals, we're men!

We're not. We're soldiers now.

Do you have such a thing as an officer of the day?

Of course!

Who is it?

Actually, me!

Actually, you?

Yes! Captain Carline! And you are?

I am Major Richard Sharpe. [Carline is surprised] South Essex. You've heard of me.

Uh... yes. You... you took the French Eagle at Talavera, sir.

But you haven't heard of a guard detail?

Sir?

Why wasn't there a guard on the gates?

Um... I don't know, sir.

You don't know? You're officer of the day! No guard mounted! What are you doing when you're not playing blind man's buff, dancing pomps?

Sir, he's got the...

Pox! What are you whispering for Harper? I think I've seen plenty of pox in my time!

[to Jane] Evening, ma'am. I'm sorry to see you in such company. Sir, as I seem to have given you some offence, I shall be happy to give you satisfaction.

Satisfaction? What does that mean?

It means I am calling you out, sir. A duel.

Don't be a damn fool, sir. If Wellington catches you duelling, you'll be on the next ship back to England.

Wellington has his code, I have mine. [Sharpe chuckles] What does it take to make you fight me? Perhaps a glass of wine in the face? Harmer, will you act as my second?

Sir. What is your opponent's name?

Sharpe. Of the 95th Rifles. Favoured of the Prince of Wales.

Is that the same Sharpe who shot three Dragoons while saving Wellington's life? The same Sharpe who took the Eagle at Talavera?

May I intercede? Colonel Bampfylde is new in Spain. Field Marshall Wellington's views on duelling are very strict.

Absolutely. Major Sharpe, may I apologise for any offence I have caused you and the Lady?

Doesn't do to duel with your new commanding officer.

Apology accepted. Sir.

From what I hear, sometimes he is outside the law.

Maybe he uses rough methods, but he gets results. So do you.

Maybe I do, but I don't take pleasure in it.

You're a damn liar.

Harris, until this matter is resolved, you're my responsibility. Now while I'm on this mission, you will act as manservant to my wife.

You're letting a suspected murderer look after your wife, sir?

Harris, I'm posting you to my household as I would post you to a position on a battlefield.

[saluting and smiling] Yes, sir!

I hate the bugle because I hate the army. Because I hate the war.

We all hate the war.

No you don't, you love it!

I'm a soldier.

What will you do when you get home, Richard? You'll still be a soldier, but there won't be a war. And if there's no war then you won't be happy. What will you do all day?

Well, what every officer does. What every husband does. Whatever that is...

I'll tell you what they do, Richard. They ride, they hunt, they gamble, they play cards, they look after their gardens, their dogs, their libraries. They wine and dine and make polite conversation. They cut a figure in society.

How should I divide the cheese, by merit or by rank? Who gets the biggest piece?

You do.

Because I am a General?

No, because I bloody 'ate cheese.

[empties wine bottle into his flagon, shakes it] Bloody hell!

[sets a new bottle down in front of him]

[stands, grabs Harper by the shoulders] Bloody hell! Patrick! Not you!

Aye, it's me.

Damn me, ye came! Ye came!

Aye, I did come, I did.

Sit down, Pat, sit down. Make room for Sergeant-Major Harper.

[Sits, Harris and Hagman make room for him] Actually, it's just Patrick Harper. Mister Patrick Harper, Horse-master to the gentry.

What, not re-enlisting?

I am not. The King's had more than his shilling out of me, so he has.

For all these years I've been fighting the French, I've become sick and bloody tired of that shit-music they play.

[laughs]

I am, so I am!

Wellesley

Your Regiment, Sharpe!

Prince of... South Essex! ADVANCE!

South Essex Charge!

Wellesley

Go on, Sharpe! They won't stand!

Wellington

What's this nonsense I hear? You've turned swords to plowshares and become a farmer in France?

Aye, s'true enough, your Grace.

Wellington

Suits you, this life?

Well, no buggers trying to shoot me the live long day, so aye, suits me.

That would be stealing, sahib! How am I to be a good British soldier if you make me into a thief again?

It ain't thieving when you're hungry, Davi. First thing any soldier learns.