Sharpe quotes from Sharpe

[To Patrick Harper, the only man with his jacket on] You, there, Sergeant!

A Colonel. Oh, my God.

Stand up, there, fellow!

[To Sharpe, who attempted to rise.] No, sir, you stay down. [he pushes Sharpe's head down, so that his face isn't visible to Sir Augustus] Stay down. [to the colonel] Coming, Colonel! Coming, sir! Here I am, sir. How ya doin', sir?

Name? Rank?

Sergeant Patrick Harper, sir. 95th Rifles.

I heard you swearing, Sergeant harper. How dare you swear in front of an officer!

Yes, sir, I'm very very sorry, sir. Must a just slipped out, so it did.

[indicating Sharpe and remaining Riflemen] Who are these - scruffy savages?

They are Chosen Men, sir. Picked out for their special skills. That's why they wear the white cords of courage.

Well, not for much longer they won't. Nor will you have those stripes on your sleeve, Sergeant. As soon as I see Lord Wellington, I'm gonna have you all up on a charge for disorderly conduct.

[can't stand still any longer] Begging your pardon, sir, but these men were acting under my orders, sir.

Your orders, sir? And who are you, to give orders?

I'm an officer, sir.

You are an officer?

Yes, sir. Captain Sharpe, 95th Rifles, sir.

Sharpe...Sharpe. I believe I heard something about you in Lisbon, Sharpe. Are you the fellow Wellington raised from the ranks?

Yes, sir.

Well, I've always thought it was a bad idea, and now I've got proof of it. When I see Lord Wellington, I'm going to speak to him about your conduct, Sharpe.

Nairn

Is that you, Sir Augustus? Major Nairn, Lord Wellington's staff, sir. I take it you are Sir Augustus Farthingdale.

I am he, Nairn. I should like to complain about the conduct of one of your officers.

Nairn

Lord Wellington is waiting for you, sir. He's most anxious to allay your anxiety on the matter you alluded to in your letter.

I should like to bathe, and change first. Where's my tent, Nairn?

Nairn

Last but one on the right, sir, I've water on the boil for you.

Nairn

You see that Colonel, Sharpe? That Colonel came here to make you a Major, would you believe that?

No, sir.

Nairn

Right hand up to God, Sharpe.

That's your left hand, sir.

Nairn

[raises his other hand] I swear to God, Sharpe.

You mean I missed being made Major?

Nairn

Maybe not.

Captain Sharpe and I have met. You are late, sir, and I cannot abide unpunctuality.

I'm sorry I'm late, my Lord, the inspection of the rocket battery ran to a full hour, sir.

Wellington

I am not happy you did not get me my horses, Sharpe. You think there may be something in these rockets, Sharpe?

Not as to accuracy, sir, but they play merry hell with the morale of poorly led men, sir. The sound is shocking.

Wellington

Scared you, did they?

[deadpan] I was terrified, sir.

Are you...uh...sure that Captain Sharpe is the right man to send with the ransom? He won't cut and run if somebody lets off a gun, will he?

Teresa

Who is this fool?

I have not come here, my Lord, to hear this man explaining about his rockets. What about my wife, sir?

Wellington

You have the money?

Five hundred golden guineas.

Wellington

Good. The deserters have demanded that the ransom be delivered by Captain Sharpe.

Oh, I wonder why, sir. It's probably because he knew one of the ruffians when he was a private soldier. That's what comes of raising from the ranks. Personally, my Lord, I don't hold with it.

My Lord if I may speak? [Wellington nods] Sir Augustus is probably correct in speculating that whoever asked for me served under me in the ranks. I was a Sergeant and a stickler for duty, so it's fair to assume that whoever it is wants to settle a score and slit my throat. But, if Sir Augustus does not trust me, I am more than willing to step down, and let him take the gold himself, sir.

[looking uncomfortable] Well! I am willing to accept Captain Sharpe as a messenger if you are, my Lord.

Wellington

Let's have it Nairn.

Wellington

What do you say, Sharpe?

We leave at dawn, sir.

Wellington

Does that suit you, Colonel?

Well, naturally, I had hoped to go myself.

Wellington

No, Colonel. These dogs would merely take you hostage and increase the ransom.

Well, that being so, I have some concerns as to the correct conduct of Captain Sharpe, and his men. My wife is a lady. I must ask you to impress on Captain Sharpe the need to adopt certain standards which are not necessarily his by birth.

Teresa

How dare he speak of Captain Sharpe in such a fashion! We Morenos are of the blood. We know who is a man of manners and who is a man of the mouth, and you, Sir Augustus, are a man of the mouth. Take my advice and shut it, before someone shuts it for you!

How dare you, Madame!

Wellington

Sir Augustus has a point, Sharpe. You and your men can be a little rough and ready. Sir Augustus has written a book on the proper conduct of the Spanish Campaign, I suggest you study it tonight, Sharpe. Full of good things, listen, "During the day's march, the men should keep their files, no indecent language or noise to be allowed." Be sure to read that particular part to the Chosen Men tonight after prayers.

Wild horses wouldn't stop me, sir.

Nairn

Don't talk about horses, Sharpe. Dismissed!

Teresa

[to Sir Augustus] If you were a man, I would call you out, force you to fight a duel, and kill you. [leaves]

Nairn

Close call, there, sir. They call her 'the needle', don't ask me why.

[looking a trifle alarmed] Am I in danger?

Wellington

[impatient] Escort Sir Augustus to his tent.

60th Rifles, reporting for duty, sir!

Your men are dirty and scruffy and a damned disgrace! What's your name, Mister?

Captain Frederickson, sir.

No apologies on the condition of your men?

Men are dirty, sir! Rifles are clean.

[stops smiling] Nothing, sir. Sorry, sir.

A good soldier should have a reason before he suffers himself to smile. Name!

Rossner, sir!

Do you know what makes a good soldier, Rossner?

Yes, sir! The ability to fire off three rounds a minute in any weather, sir!

What are you smiling at, Fredrickson?

I'm not smiling, sir. A musket ball broke my jaw. I have false teeth. The sawbones stuck on the smile for free, sir. He also stuck on my hair. Hair belongs to a horse, sir.

Do you know what makes a good soldier, Frederickson?

Yes, sir. Keeping his mouth shut when he's asked damn-fool questions by a superior officer, sir.

[smiling] You don't give a damn, do you Frederickson?

No, sir. I just do my duty.

You'll do fine.

Tell General Chaumier we will fight him to the death.

Ducos

[scoffs] Major Sharpe is not well. We outnumber you ten to one. There will be no terms if you do not surrender within the hour, Monsieur.

To the death.

I'm in charge here, Major Sharpe! We will discuss terms immediately.

Your wife was a whore, sir. I know, for I was once her lover. [Farthingdale blanches.] Let that get out, and you'll be the laughingstock of Lisbon, and then of London. Leave now, and on my honor, no word of it will pass my lips.

[stammering] But... but I do love her, you know.

You're a damned liar.

Tell General Chaumier I have horse, foot, and artillery. Tell him what Voltaire said: Dieu ne pas pour les grand battalions, mais pour sequi teront le meillur.

You told me you didn't speak French.

I lied. My wife taught me. She taught me many things. Above all, how to say goodbye.

Someday... I'll say goodbye to you.

Ducos

[sneers] Certainly.

You saved my life.

You tried to end mine.

I've never met you.

Well, do you hear that, Pat? She's never met me.

You're bleeding, sir. Don't move.

What about my shameful suggestions?

What?

Oh, she's denying me now, Pat. After all we've been through.

I hear her, sir.

You think she'd remember the man who got down on his knees, drunk mind you, and crawled on her floor begging Her Ladyship to sleep with him. Bugger!

I'd remember it.

Aye! So would I. A man lost his honour because of the lady's lies. Stripped of his rank. Hung on a rope.

Who are you?

You know who I am. My name is Sharpe.

Bloody French on one side, a madman on the other... and we're stuck here with the woman who had me hung.

God does work in mysterious ways.

I had an uncle who thought the Faeries were after him.

What happened to him?

Well, sir, they got him.

Miss Nugent?

Yes?

Major Richard Sharpe. Are these your rifles? We've had them cleaned for you.

Oh, there was no need.

[smiling a little] I think there was, miss.

I mean, no hurry. Unless to put a bullet through Cousin Arthur, the General. He's kicking us out.

You traveled here alone?

Just a guide, and a servant.

Glad you had these. [indicates rifles]

They're American. Made in Pennsylvania.

None better.

Speaking as a Rifleman?

Yes, miss.

I'll see you tonight? At me cousin's party.

Doubt it miss.

Are you on duty?

I'm ... not exactly in his favour at the moment.

Ah, well. You like me...you could come as my escort, Major Sharpe, will ye?

I, uh.

We could talk about guns!

Are you alright? [sees the dead soldier, shot through the chest] My God, you did well.

[woodenly] She saved me.

[pointedly ignoring Ayres] A clean shot.

He's so young. He's just a boy.

They all are, fresh recruits.

Well, Mister Ayres, I shall report this. A skilled defense, and a valiant action.

[aware that Sharpe is mocking him] I'm not very experienced.

First rule. Always get a girl between you and the enemy.

[softly] I killed him. I never...I never did that. [Sharpe puts his hand on her shoulder]

No more of my men will die in this God-forsaken place.

They will if I find them.

You there, out of the road. [Sharpe ignores him] Out of the road! [Sharpe continues to ignore him] Are you deaf, sir?

Go round.

Do you know who I am?

I know what you are.

Which would you prefer me to do Sharpe? Play Beallagh na Bruga, that's the march, or send you on a dangerous mission?

Ahh, dangerous mission, sir.

Who's winning the war, Sharpe?

Lord Wellington, sir.

Why's he winning it, Sharpe?

Steady troops, sir.

[Munro shakes his head] Superior intelligence. Supplied by whom laddie?

Men like you, sir.

Ugh, don't lick me, laddie!

[To Pipe-major outside Munro's tent] How do you stand it, Pipe major?

[loudly] I said, how do you stand it? [Pipe-major pulls a cotton wad out of his ear; Sharpe laughs with him]

Then they must be quaking in terror!

Oh they are, Charlie. They know they face us!