Sir Augustus quotes from Sharpe

[To Patrick Harper, the only man with his jacket on] You, there, Sergeant!

A Colonel. Oh, my God.

Stand up, there, fellow!

[To Sharpe, who attempted to rise.] No, sir, you stay down. [he pushes Sharpe's head down, so that his face isn't visible to Sir Augustus] Stay down. [to the colonel] Coming, Colonel! Coming, sir! Here I am, sir. How ya doin', sir?

Name? Rank?

Sergeant Patrick Harper, sir. 95th Rifles.

I heard you swearing, Sergeant harper. How dare you swear in front of an officer!

Yes, sir, I'm very very sorry, sir. Must a just slipped out, so it did.

[indicating Sharpe and remaining Riflemen] Who are these - scruffy savages?

They are Chosen Men, sir. Picked out for their special skills. That's why they wear the white cords of courage.

Well, not for much longer they won't. Nor will you have those stripes on your sleeve, Sergeant. As soon as I see Lord Wellington, I'm gonna have you all up on a charge for disorderly conduct.

[can't stand still any longer] Begging your pardon, sir, but these men were acting under my orders, sir.

Your orders, sir? And who are you, to give orders?

I'm an officer, sir.

You are an officer?

Yes, sir. Captain Sharpe, 95th Rifles, sir.

Sharpe...Sharpe. I believe I heard something about you in Lisbon, Sharpe. Are you the fellow Wellington raised from the ranks?

Yes, sir.

Well, I've always thought it was a bad idea, and now I've got proof of it. When I see Lord Wellington, I'm going to speak to him about your conduct, Sharpe.

Nairn

Is that you, Sir Augustus? Major Nairn, Lord Wellington's staff, sir. I take it you are Sir Augustus Farthingdale.

I am he, Nairn. I should like to complain about the conduct of one of your officers.

Nairn

Lord Wellington is waiting for you, sir. He's most anxious to allay your anxiety on the matter you alluded to in your letter.

I should like to bathe, and change first. Where's my tent, Nairn?

Nairn

Last but one on the right, sir, I've water on the boil for you.

Nairn

You see that Colonel, Sharpe? That Colonel came here to make you a Major, would you believe that?

No, sir.

Nairn

Right hand up to God, Sharpe.

That's your left hand, sir.

Nairn

[raises his other hand] I swear to God, Sharpe.

You mean I missed being made Major?

Nairn

Maybe not.

Captain Sharpe and I have met. You are late, sir, and I cannot abide unpunctuality.

I'm sorry I'm late, my Lord, the inspection of the rocket battery ran to a full hour, sir.

Wellington

I am not happy you did not get me my horses, Sharpe. You think there may be something in these rockets, Sharpe?

Not as to accuracy, sir, but they play merry hell with the morale of poorly led men, sir. The sound is shocking.

Wellington

Scared you, did they?

[deadpan] I was terrified, sir.

Are you...uh...sure that Captain Sharpe is the right man to send with the ransom? He won't cut and run if somebody lets off a gun, will he?

Teresa

Who is this fool?

I have not come here, my Lord, to hear this man explaining about his rockets. What about my wife, sir?

Wellington

You have the money?

Five hundred golden guineas.

Wellington

Good. The deserters have demanded that the ransom be delivered by Captain Sharpe.

Oh, I wonder why, sir. It's probably because he knew one of the ruffians when he was a private soldier. That's what comes of raising from the ranks. Personally, my Lord, I don't hold with it.

My Lord if I may speak? [Wellington nods] Sir Augustus is probably correct in speculating that whoever asked for me served under me in the ranks. I was a Sergeant and a stickler for duty, so it's fair to assume that whoever it is wants to settle a score and slit my throat. But, if Sir Augustus does not trust me, I am more than willing to step down, and let him take the gold himself, sir.

[looking uncomfortable] Well! I am willing to accept Captain Sharpe as a messenger if you are, my Lord.

Wellington

Let's have it Nairn.

Wellington

What do you say, Sharpe?

We leave at dawn, sir.

Wellington

Does that suit you, Colonel?

Well, naturally, I had hoped to go myself.

Wellington

No, Colonel. These dogs would merely take you hostage and increase the ransom.

Well, that being so, I have some concerns as to the correct conduct of Captain Sharpe, and his men. My wife is a lady. I must ask you to impress on Captain Sharpe the need to adopt certain standards which are not necessarily his by birth.

Teresa

How dare he speak of Captain Sharpe in such a fashion! We Morenos are of the blood. We know who is a man of manners and who is a man of the mouth, and you, Sir Augustus, are a man of the mouth. Take my advice and shut it, before someone shuts it for you!

How dare you, Madame!

Wellington

Sir Augustus has a point, Sharpe. You and your men can be a little rough and ready. Sir Augustus has written a book on the proper conduct of the Spanish Campaign, I suggest you study it tonight, Sharpe. Full of good things, listen, "During the day's march, the men should keep their files, no indecent language or noise to be allowed." Be sure to read that particular part to the Chosen Men tonight after prayers.

Wild horses wouldn't stop me, sir.

Nairn

Don't talk about horses, Sharpe. Dismissed!

Teresa

[to Sir Augustus] If you were a man, I would call you out, force you to fight a duel, and kill you. [leaves]

Nairn

Close call, there, sir. They call her 'the needle', don't ask me why.

[looking a trifle alarmed] Am I in danger?

Wellington

[impatient] Escort Sir Augustus to his tent.

Nairn

Can you imagine what this will do to the morale of our troops, coming up to a cold Christmas? A scuttlebutt tells you there's a garden of Eden in the hills, good food, good grog, no foot drill or flogging. Wouldn't you say, "I'll be damned to it," and desert? I know I would.

Disciplined troops desert, sir? Nonsense.

Wellington

Don't be a damn fool, sir! Discipline is only a rabble-rouser's shout from anarchy, sir! Mark me close, Colonel. What do you think the supreme virtue, sir? To the Frenchman in his recent revolution, it is liberty. To the Whig puffing in Parliament, it is licence to do anything, provide it do not disturb his pleasure. But to the common soldier, it is anarchy, to do whatever he please and be damned to his fellow. But to me and Bonaparte, the supreme virtue is order. We are not Whigs. We know that a man may love his neighbour over Monday and massacre him over Tuesday unless society keeps him in order! These deserters, if not secured and shot, will destroy my army more surely than Bonaparte! And I'll thank you not to forget it.